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Illustrations by Brandon Celi.

People Told Us the Most Irrational Thing They Hate in Six Words

Anna Goldfarb

Anna Goldfarb

“Tiny legs, big ears. Stupid corgis.”

Illustrations by Brandon Celi.

We all have things we hate for no reason. If we tried to explain why this particular thing drives us up a wall, we'd sound like lunatics. But every time we're exposed to it––a soul-killing chore, annoying celebrities, grating quirks, cotton balls, whatever––we recoil in horror. We asked friends and co-workers about what irrational thing grinds their gears. Here's what they said.

"Jennifer Lawrence's round face and career." - Camila, 33

"Filling up the Brita water pitcher." - Shana, 34

"Tiny legs, big ears. Stupid corgis." - JR, 30

"People who stop on the sidewalk." - Ashley, 26

"Changing the toilet paper roll." - Katherine, 28

"Restarting the microwave timer." - Katherine, 28

"Sound of feet rubbing against couches." - Erica, 29

"Plain White T's: 'Hey There Delilah.'" - Jill, 33

"'Times it by' instead of multiply." - Lindsay, 28

"Putting air in my car tires." - Kris, 43

"Wet paper is my worst nightmare." - Meghan, 30

"UMBRELLAS! USE RAINCOATS, YOU POINTY FUCKS!" - Nora, 31

"Crochet! It's knitting for garbage people." - Ann, 35

"Everything Katy Perry does and says." - Lauren, 33

"People walking in the bike lane." - Rachel, 28

"Everything about the phrase 'clean eating.'" - Amanda, 32

"Nothing more useless than flying kites." - Charlotte, 38

"Tuna from a can. Fuck that." - Suzanne, 39

"Car commercials with no city traffic." - Mike, 34

"Taking showers like a regular human." - Alicia, 29

"Sticking a hand between mattress and boxspring." - Amanda, 30

"Gwyneth Paltrow and her smug face." - Britni, 32

"Touch my knees, get face kicked." - Jazz, 30

"The sound of people sneezing. Hideous!"- Tamara, 33

"Strings, goo, and bruises on bananas." - Haley, 32

"The sound of teeth meeting apple." - MacKenzie, 36

"Every morning radio DJ on Earth." - Brooke, 27

"'Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. Ugh." - Jackie, 28

"Mayonnaise. It's like semen but worse." - Annie, 22

"I can't stand open-faced sandwiches." - Sam, 27

"I hate rhubarb. It is evil." - Shannon, 40

"The smell of other people's gum." - Candace, 34

"White chocolate is not real chocolate." - Rebecca, 39

"Adults who say, 'O M G.'" - Tara, 36

"When other people's hair touches me." - Sandy, 38

"Dry-erase boards that don't erase." - Brittany, 27

"Life-size cardboard cutouts. Creepy AF." - Michelle, 32

"People singing along incorrectly, on purpose." - Gabriella, 28

"The feeling of felt or velvet." - Lisa, 34

"Door opens, crowd turns to look." - Liz, 29

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