Illustrations by Brandon Celi.

People Told Us the Most Irrational Thing They Hate in Six Words

“Tiny legs, big ears. Stupid corgis.”

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Sep 26 2017, 5:41pm

Illustrations by Brandon Celi.

We all have things we hate for no reason. If we tried to explain why this particular thing drives us up a wall, we'd sound like lunatics. But every time we're exposed to it––a soul-killing chore, annoying celebrities, grating quirks, cotton balls, whatever––we recoil in horror. We asked friends and co-workers about what irrational thing grinds their gears. Here's what they said.

"Jennifer Lawrence's round face and career." - Camila, 33

"Filling up the Brita water pitcher." - Shana, 34

"Tiny legs, big ears. Stupid corgis." - JR, 30

"People who stop on the sidewalk." - Ashley, 26

"Changing the toilet paper roll." - Katherine, 28

"Restarting the microwave timer." - Katherine, 28

"Sound of feet rubbing against couches." - Erica, 29

"Plain White T's: 'Hey There Delilah.'" - Jill, 33

"'Times it by' instead of multiply." - Lindsay, 28

"Putting air in my car tires." - Kris, 43

"Wet paper is my worst nightmare." - Meghan, 30

"UMBRELLAS! USE RAINCOATS, YOU POINTY FUCKS!" - Nora, 31

"Crochet! It's knitting for garbage people." - Ann, 35

"Everything Katy Perry does and says." - Lauren, 33

"People walking in the bike lane." - Rachel, 28

"Everything about the phrase 'clean eating.'" - Amanda, 32

"Nothing more useless than flying kites." - Charlotte, 38

"Tuna from a can. Fuck that." - Suzanne, 39

"Car commercials with no city traffic." - Mike, 34

"Taking showers like a regular human." - Alicia, 29

"Sticking a hand between mattress and boxspring." - Amanda, 30

"Gwyneth Paltrow and her smug face." - Britni, 32

"Touch my knees, get face kicked." - Jazz, 30

"The sound of people sneezing. Hideous!"- Tamara, 33

"Strings, goo, and bruises on bananas." - Haley, 32

"The sound of teeth meeting apple." - MacKenzie, 36

"Every morning radio DJ on Earth." - Brooke, 27

"'Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. Ugh." - Jackie, 28

"Mayonnaise. It's like semen but worse." - Annie, 22

"I can't stand open-faced sandwiches." - Sam, 27

"I hate rhubarb. It is evil." - Shannon, 40

"The smell of other people's gum." - Candace, 34

"White chocolate is not real chocolate." - Rebecca, 39

"Adults who say, 'O M G.'" - Tara, 36

"When other people's hair touches me." - Sandy, 38

"Dry-erase boards that don't erase." - Brittany, 27

"Life-size cardboard cutouts. Creepy AF." - Michelle, 32

"People singing along incorrectly, on purpose." - Gabriella, 28

"The feeling of felt or velvet." - Lisa, 34

"Door opens, crowd turns to look." - Liz, 29

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