Flying is the worst. We know we've said it before—like when a carry-on burst into flames in February, and again when an entire plane threw up en masse in March, and again when a flight filled up with smoke a few weeks ago, and again, and again—and yet still, it bears repeating: Flying fucking sucks. But just when you might have thought it couldn't get any more horrific, we regret to inform you about an atrocity so unholy it's difficult to believe it actually happened: On Thursday, according to Fox affiliate KDVR, a passenger on a Frontier flight peed all over the seat in front of him. Just peed on it!
The offending urinator was flying from Denver to Charleston, South Carolina, on Thursday—drunk as shit, according to a passenger onboard—when he allegedly groped the woman in the seat beside him.
"I hear a woman scream, 'If this man fucking touches me one more time, I’ll fucking kill him,'” a passenger named Emily, who withheld her last name, told KDVR. "She said that he ordered two double shots of vodka, so four drinks while they were sitting there. He was out of his mind. Like, he couldn’t speak, he was mumbling. This man was extremely intoxicated.”
A passenger told CBS Denver the man also verbally and physically harassed two women seated near him. At one point, the passenger said, he touched a woman who was sleeping; later, he allegedly asked another about her sex life.
The flight attendants reportedly dragged the guy from his seat to an empty row in the back of the plane, directly across from Emily. That's when, she told KDVR, he unbuckled his seatbelt, whipped out his johnson, and started peeing all over the seat in front of him. Instead of recoiling in disgust, Emily bravely pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. CBS Denver then obtained an image by Emma Kerbstdat that showed the horror passengers allegedly endured:
"And I scream, 'He’s fucking peeing. He’s peeing. Oh my god,'" Emily told KDVR. "And the flight attendant doesn’t even acknowledge him at first. [The flight attendant] acknowledges me and says, 'You need to calm down and stop cursing.'"
Emily told CBS Denver the in-flight tinkler, who hasn't been identified, was arrested at the gate once the flight touched down in Charleston. She called Frontier to report the incident, and the airline gave her a $200 voucher for her troubles—though no amount of money could ever erase the sheer horror she apparently witnessed that day.
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