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Getting High Can Help Capricorns Stop Being Such Intense Workaholics

Unless they come up with a weed-centered business plan while stoned.

by Sophie Saint Thomas
Apr 16 2018, 5:41pm

We consulted astrologers on how each sign can get as high as the stars. Read about the other signs here.

Capricorns tend to be moody devils (the Tarot card associated with the Capricorn) who are extremely charming. (I mean that as a compliment! David Bowie was a Capricorn!) Capricorns like getting shit done, and they’re good at it, too.

They can act judgmental towards stereotypical stoners, because sitting on your butt to blaze all day is so counter-intuitive for Capricorns. Many Capricorns with affection for weed may find themselves on the business end of cannabis, creating their own farm or pulling late nights to launch a cannabis start-up. "If they're really into pot, like, as a lifestyle, maybe they have a future in the industry. If they're not crazed, they will probably save it as a solitary activity, only smoking in private, where they relinquish control and enjoy themselves," horoscope writer Randon Rosenbohm says.

For the classy Capricorn, getting high might be more of a celebration than something they do on the reg. Therefore, a Capricorn enjoys the occasional edible, or may find CBD tinctures interesting.

They have extreme self-control, so their stoner friends may be wondering how they managed to refuse the bag of Cheetos the rest of the group is passing around. When they do indulge in flower, Capricorns prefer bud that helps them focus over kinds that make them feel lethargic—unless they’re using medicinal marijuana for insomnia after a hard day’s work.

"[Cannabis] helps them with their obsessive productivity. They can be the Eeyores of the zodiac, so weed helps them with their moods too," astrologer Caitlin McGarry says. Capricorns should avoid overindulgence of cannabis to the point of paranoia, since no one has meltdowns as epic as these Earth signs when pushed past their limit. You’ll be the one needing medical marijuana if you find yourself on the wrong side of a sea goat.

Stoner Superlative: Most likely to make a ton of money from weed

Best Strain: Cinex (enlightening sativa)

Worst Strain: Purple Urkle (sleepy indica)

Best Way to Get High: Cannabis tincture

Best High Activity: Play (and win) a competitive video game

Recommended Product: Goldleaf Grow Planner