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Music by VICE

These Guys are Selling Their "Songwriting Ability" for $5 Million on eBay

if you're serious about becoming a rich and famous rockstar (and are already rich), these guys are the real deal.

by Nick Rattigan
May 31 2013, 6:20pm

While looking for the most expensive music gear I could find on the Internet, I came across the next best thing: the most expensive music brains on the Internet. And also one of the weirdest eBay auctions I have seen to date.

Rich Wilson and Jeremy Denigan are selling their "song writing abilities" for the reasonable price of FIVE MILLION DOLLARS. Five. Million. Dollars. These are the kinds of bills that people get held ransom for in terrible action movies. It is pretty safe to assume from this post that these are just a couple of dudes who A) have never learned how to use the Internet and B) have the as-of-yet-untouched ability to write the worlds most amazing songs and record them in their Gainesville studio.

The headline, PIANO GUITAR VIOLIN LYRICS ******ORIGINAL SONGS FOR SALE********** LOOK !!, is not only confusing, but has absolutely nothing to do with the generic picture of this Rickenbacker guitar they've attributed to the post. They also offer a link to their band's demos on the listing, which is actually just a broken Myspace page. Don't worry if you can't figure out how to navigate the page, because we did the dirty work for you. You can check all of the bands completely original and groundbreaking songs here, including such big-ticket hits as "Goodbye For Now," "Stefanee," and "Col William Scott Dilworth - Master.wav."

So if you're serious about becoming a rich and famous rockstar (and are already rich), these guys are the real deal.