Something very strange and peculiar has happened in America, something other than Donald Trump. Five men, none of which are Donald Trump, have birthed a concept thrash metal band based entirely on The Simpsons' sexiest and most god-fearing character: Ned Flanders. Their name? Okilly Dokilly, obviously, with heavy emphasis on "kill" and "kill."
The band is only a couple of months old and have yet to play their first show, but their Facebook page describes them as "the world's only Nedal band" with most of their songs made up of direct Ned quotes (if you check their Bandcamp track info, you'll find which season and episode they're each pulled from).
Obviously, we don't need to ask why they did this. We need to take a long, hard moment and ask ourselves why we have not done this. Not only is it the best thing anyone has done with a guitar since Ed Sheeran sharted his pants on stage, Okilly Dokilly is probably the single most important idea to ever come out of any sort of rock music ever, since early man first picked up an acoustic guitar at a shit house party in the Late Cretaceous period and said, "Does anyone want to hear 'Smoke on the Water'?" But are there other reasons?
In an interview with Australian publication Rip It Up, the vocalist (a.k.a. Head Ned) says he and the drummer came up with the name while waiting in line in a store, spitballing "really cutesy names for really hardcore, brutal bands" to pass the time. There is nobody less threatening than Ned Flanders, and thus Okilly Dokilly was born. Next, they recruited some friends, got some matching green crew neck jumpers, and rebranded to: Head Ned, Red Ned, Thread Ned, Stead Ned, and Bled Ned. Together, they kind of look like Devo if Devo was made up of former-beatniks who work in a shop specializing in products for left-handed people and survive on "a daily dose of vitamin church."
Okilly Dokilly's first show is on September 5 in their hometown, but they have some "Okilly demos" on their Bandcamp that you can listen to now featuring lots of Flanders-style screaming and beat-diddly-downs.
The band describe their sound as: “Not as fast as Bartcore, and a little cleaner than Krusty Punk. Not as heavy as Homer J.ent- Nedal is a happy medium in the Simpscene.”
Follow Emma on Twitter.