If there’s one thing we know about music, it’s that it’s dope as fuck. It’s great for when you want to think about stuff, but it’s even greater when you want to turn the fuck up and party. Science has shown us that no one—and I mean absolutely no one—knows how to turn up better than dudes in frats. But what if you’re trying to put your Phi Delt bros in such a state of turnt-up shock that their neon tank tops catch on fire and are replaced by even brighter neon tank tops? You can’t do that with normal music that people have listened to already. This is why the SoundCloud tag #frat exists. I dived into the sweaty, STD-ridden abyss that is #frat on SoundCloud, and now that I’ve come back up for air (and Valtrex) this is what I to show for myself. I rated these songs on a scale of one to five red Solo cups, because that’s what you’re supposed to do with these types of things. So, join me down the Red-Solo-Cup-bricked road and find out if these songs are fratting hard, or hardly fratting.
Ah, yes, the time-honored tradition of rappers inserting themselves on a song that isn’t theirs and claiming they were supposed to be there all along. 3LAU, I wish you luck in your quest to be the next overly popular mediocre party rapper. His is a vision of LMFAO where the F stands for “Frat."
This is just some random jammy reggae band remaking Miguel’s “Do You” while keeping Miguel’s vocals. This seems like it would be chill for when you and your frat bros take a party bus to Hilton Head and all make each other hemp friendship bracelets and “accidentally” make out.
Future news headline: Boston Rapper Samples Taylor Swift, Is Murdered by Frat Brothers Who Are Convinced Eating His Flesh Will Give Them Power
This is the worst song I have ever heard; therefore it’s the perfect frat turn-up song.
Aw hell yeah, G Love and Special Sauce revival-wave. I usually don’t agree with arguments that some people shouldn’t be allowed to rap, but the #Frat tag is sort of making me see random cargo shorts dudes’ point.
Only included this one so that somebody would sue them over the unlicensed samples.
Doors sample? Check. Neverending dubstep drop? Check. A group actually called The Frathouse? By gawd, we’ve got a winner (loser)!
“HEY BRO CHECK THIS SHIT OUT I AIN’T GOT ANY TEETH NOW CUZ THIS BASS RATTLED THEM OUT FUCK YEAH BRO” *sticks beer bong into own butt, wakes up in hospital with ruptured colon*
The only thing doper than two dope songs is when two dope songs are combined together, as if they were mashed up in some sort of machine. Many internet, very 2009, much frat.
“Hey bros, have you guys heard of this new shit ‘EDM’??? It’s like, the Beatles of live music. So fucking dope. Just wait til the drop! It’s like a guitar solo, but way sicker. Fuck rap, we’re all about these bleeps and bloops now.”
For some reason, the dude who made this song won’t let you embed it on your website, which is flagrantly unfratty. Fortunately, the Mike Posner-lite vocals, slut-shaming lyrics, and unlicensed sample of Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl” place this right back in the basement of the Frat Castle, naked, being beaten by upper-classmen with dead fish, right where it belongs.
At first I thought this wasn’t fratty at all, due to the Ryan Hemsworth-ripoff beat, but then the raps kick in and it’s about some Broldier (Bro Soldier) fucking a drunk girl and never calling her back again.
Little did G-Eazy know that two years after uploading a song to Soundcloud and tagging it “#Frat,” he’d do a song with E-40 and be, like, really famous amongst teenage white dudes.
This dude claims to be “The Refix King,” which isn’t a thing. That’s great, though, because frat dudes love making things up!
I can’t even begin to understand this shit.
Four months before Drake rapped a song (sort of?) dedicated to Johnny Manziel, some kid made a song called “Johnny Manziel,” and it’s frattier than goddamn motherfuck.
YES! I HAVE FOUND IT!!! THE MOST FRATTIEST SONG EVER TO BE TAGGED #FRAT ON SOUNDCLOUD!!!!! NON-ADMIRABLY SHITTY RAPPER RAPS OVER KE$HA AND PITBULL’S “TIMBER” AND IT’S THE BEST. SIX SOLO CUPS, AND MAY A SEERSUCKERED GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS.
Drew Millard was never in a frat in college, but probably would have done really well in one. He's on Twitter - @drewmillard