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Food by VICE

Taco Bell Recommends Blending Its Tacos Into a Demented Soup

You know what? We're down.

by Bettina Makalintal
Nov 14 2019, 10:54pm

Photo Courtesy Taco Bell

Nobody needs to tell Taco Bell that it's soup season, because they have already won soup season, having turned their tacos into an unholy yet delicious-sounding… yes, soup.

The recipe, which the brand posted on its blog, is basically: Buy Taco Bell tacos, boil them, blend them. Fine, there's some cooking of aromatics and vegetables, too, but the key step is buying tacos.

"You’ll need to pick up some Rolled Chicken Tacos, so head to Taco Bell and grab a Rolled Chicken Taco Party Pack featuring six Rolled Chicken Tacos and six Crunchy Tacos," says the recipe's preface. The result is "rolled chicken tacos bisque," but if you really think about it, it's basically a "taco smoothie."

In any case, Taco Bell's slightly deranged creation sounds… pretty damn good. The rolled chicken tacos, while not the superior Doritos Locos taco, are good. Tomatoes, onions, garlic, lime, and sour cream are good. If you put them all together, then the result should also be good, according to the transitive property. Plus, the blender hides a lot of sins, especially if you top the end result with cheese and cream, and you don't have to tell anyone what went into your *chef's kiss* bisque.

The blending of a soggy taco to create soup isn't far off ideologically from soups that are undeniably good. Tortilla soup is even better when the once-crispy tortilla strips get a little waterlogged (Bon Appetit has dubbed this magical texture "crispy-gone-soggy"). Taco soup and Frito soup are also basically the same idea as this bisque, except those approximate the flavor of a taco instead of going all in.

It is, however, more effort than I'd ever care to associate with the phrase "Taco Bell Friendsgiving." Other options on the brand's Friendsgiving menu—nacho fries au gratin (indulgent!), Mexican rice arancini (clever!), and sauce packet-flavored compound butter (smart, actually!)—all also sound dank as hell, but who's really buying stuff at Taco Bell to cook with later?

If I'm bringing Taco Bell to the holiday potluck, all you can really expect from me is a big box of tacos. I'll save the hot taco smoothie for a dinner where only God can judge me.

Tagged:
soup
taco bell
Friendsgiving
soup season