Let These Rebel Goats on the Loose Cleanse Your Social Media-Addled Brain

On Friday, after a week online that felt like a month, photos and video circulated on Twitter that depicted “about 100” goats seemingly on the loose in a residential Boise, Idaho neighbourhood.

They were, according to tweets by KTVB reporter Joe Parris, who was on the scene, “going house to house eating everything in sight.”

That is what we call a big ‘ole wholesome mood, my friends, and it is exactly what I needed to MIB mind-wipe the last week of far-right intimidation campaigns and the president of the US showing his whole ass to the world in 280 characters out of my memory. And it’s Friday, did I mention that?

It’s not entirely clear how the goats got there or how they escaped their presumed stewards, but Parris tweeted that after about an hour of grazing the goats were herded into a truck bearing a logo emblazoned with the URL “werentgoats.com.” That website belongs to a company called CT Biological Weed and Brush Control, Inc. and states that the rent-a-herd service is meant to be a natural alternative to weed-killing chemicals for landscaping. “Just point us to the weeds,” the website says, “and we do the rest.”

KTVB reported that the goats were grazing nearby when they somehow escaped and began their freewheeling gastronomic mayhem. We Rent Goats' website says that the company puts up electrified fencing “if needed” to keep the goats in while they munch on all the weeds in a yard, so it’s not clear how the goats got out.

Phone calls and texts made to the company’s office and the owner’s cell phone were not immediately returned.

As for what will happen to the goats now, We Rent Goats’ site states that the goats’ job is to “travel around the Pacific Northwest eliminating various kinds of noxious weeds and brush.” The company explicitly states that the business “is not about keeping the goats on a ranch where they have everything they need in life,” adding, “these goats have to earn their keep, just like the rest of us.”

And not all the goats get to live this hard-working life. In a section of the website called “Circle of Life,” the company states that the boys that the company raises can end up on a plate once they reach 80 pounds. “If we don’t think the male goat will create good offspring, we slaughter them for meat,” the site states.

Ah crap, I think I just ruined my own Friday vibe. Time to watch the goat video again.