Let’s all take a second and consider what, if any, situations would make you stab another person. Would you do it if you were in immediate, life-threatening danger? Yes, if you couldn’t otherwise escape. What about if a loved one’s life was at stake? Sure. And what if your brother polished off the rest of the ribs in the fridge? If your name is Caleb Jymm, you’re nodding your head enthusiastically right now.
According to a police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Jymm called the cops in Council Bluffs, Iowa to tell them that he’d just stabbed his brother, Daniel Jymm. When officers arrived at the American Inn where the brothers were currently living, they found a bloody pocket knife before they even knocked on the door. Caleb was placed in two sets of handcuffs—”to make it more comfortable for [him]”—before the cops spoke to Daniel, who was cleaning the blood off his stab wound in the motel bathroom.
“Officers spoke with Daniel Jymm, and he stated that he was arguing with his brother about who had eating [sic] the last of the ribs, when things became physical” the police report states. “Daniel stated that Caleb had been punching him multiple times and, when the incident was finally over, he discovered that he had been stabbed in the stomach.”
Daniel told the officers that he didn’t want to press charges against his brother (because that would make things awkward?) He was then transported to a local hospital for treatment. Meanwhile, Caleb was driven to the Pottawattamie County jail, and he is facing charges of Willful Injury and Aggravated Domestic Assault.
The two brothers have reportedly been sharing the motel room for the past month and, despite the stab wound, at least Daniel might have a night to himself. Or, depending on how Caleb’s court appearance goes, he might have many, many nights to himself: The older Jymm is facing a maximum of 12 years in prison.
If you’re ever in a situation when you find yourself debating whether you should take the last rib, don’t. In May 2015, a 45-year-old Indiana woman was politely asked not to take the last rib that had been served at a barbecue. But Sabrina Davis really wanted that rib: instead of getting a spoonful of whatever side dishes were left, she stabbed Angela Watkins in the eye with her rib-takin’ fork. The police were called, Davis was taken to the Delaware County jail, and Watkins went to a nearby hospital. As VICE noted at the time, no one thought to report who ended up with the rib.
Come on, even the best ribs can’t be worth a stabbing. And certainly not worth being stabbed.