Vince Wilfork Just Announced His Retirement in a Charcoal Commercial

After 13 years with the New England Patriots and Houston Texans, defensive tackle Vince Wilfork, 35, decided to go out in what can only be described as a branded retirement—with charcoal company Kingsford. Sure, it's kind of weird that it's an ad—and that we've reached the point where nothing is sacred in the eyes of sponsorship—but there's so much to love about this.

Wilfork, who rose to prominence in BBQ circles when his wife shared a video of him dancing while 'Qing, makes his appearance in the video walking down the halls of an ambiguous locker room which then cuts to a shot of him unwrapping the tape from his cleats. He hangs them up in his locker, and picks up a pair of tongs to bring to a parking lot grill, and dons his signature shirtless overalls.

But maybe the best part, as we catch our first glimpse of him clutching a cigar in his grin, is seeing his custom hat, which just reads "RIBS" in both Patriots and Texans colors. It's a pretty fucking cool hat. Not to mention that he customized his overalls to have his name and number on them.

"No more cleats—I'm moving on to smoked meats, fellas. Peace out! I'm out of here! Later!"

The whole sponsorship and staged vibe kind of throws you a bit—a pivot that makes you double take about whether Wilfork is for real with this retirement announcement. But he reiterates at the end that this is pretty positively it: "You thought it was over, huh? Nah, I'll be back—but not on that field. Peace out."

He's even got a nice, sheepish grin throughout the whole thing. Fitting that the beginning of his grilling career dovetails so nicely with Kingsford's motto, "start something." Whatever charcoal royalties he gets out of the situation should help him maintain his 325lb self. Good on you, Wilfork.