Reports of a sinkhole in a suburban area of South Florida this week turned into an all-out FBI investigation after the feds realized that the thing wasn't a sinkhole at all—it was part of an elaborate, man-made tunnel leading right to a bank, the Miami Herald reports.
On Tuesday evening, the Pembroke Pines Public Works Department made a routine stop to follow-up on complaints about a pothole on a local roadway. What they found, though, wasn't some ordinary hole—upon closer inspection, they noticed it looked like part of an underground passageway that had caved in.
Public Works employees called in the FBI, who took a look at the suspicious-ass hole and started digging, eventually uncovering a 50-yard tunnel that led all the way up to the ATMs outside a Chase bank. They found the entrance of the tunnel in a nearby wooded area, stocked with some work boots, a few excavation tools, and an extension cord hooked up to a small gas generator.
According to the crack team at the FBI, the tunnel was likely dug over the course of "months" by a would-be thief (or group of thieves), seeing as how it was headed straight for a bank and all. "They're heading towards the ATM. I don't think they were doing that for any other reason," Miami FBI spokesman Michael Leverock told reporters.
But there were some details about the tunnel that makes this whole story a little stranger—namely, that it was small as fuck. "It's approximately two-foot, maybe three-foot in diameter," Leverock added. "You would have to be really small to get in there and it would be very claustrophobic... There’s no way anybody could sit up in there, that’s how small it was."
"I’ve only seen something like this in the movies—and I’m not even sure I’ve seen this, because it’s so small," he said.
The FBI is currently investigating the tunnel as part of a potential bank heist, but many questions still remain. What, exactly, was this alleged robber's plan? The tunnel didn't lead into up into the bank vault or anything, it just popped up outside—was the idea to rob the place and then make a quick escape by shimmying to safety through a hole in the ground? Would the stolen money even fit through there? Wouldn't a standard getaway car be preferable?
Plus, why is the tunnel so goddamn small? Is this bank heist actually a plot hatched by some sinister children? What size were those work boots, exactly? We need answers, FBI. Get on it.
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