Philadelphia Plunges into Madness as Eagles Make Super Bowl

No poles were climbed, but that did not stop the good people of Philadelphia from going bonkers.
January 22, 2018, 3:07pm
Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

In advance of the NFC Championship game in Philadelphia this weekend, the city literally greased light poles to prevent rowdy fans from climbing them should the Eagles beat the Minnesota Vikings. Unfortunately, there's no similar fix for stopping fans from driving a dune buggy up the famed art museum steps, or from antagonizing a 100-year-old Vikings fan, or to help prevent a man from running right into a goddamn pole.

The people of Philadelphia did all of these things, and much more, Sunday night after the Eagles absolutely pasted the Vikings 38-7 and earned a trip to the Super Bowl. Let's see what else they got up to, shall we?

First, here is the aforementioned mechanized Rocky:

And here are two men who are sick of Millie, a 99-year-old Minnesota woman who gained national attention this week for being both a Vikings fan and extremely old.

This is a truly delightful snapshot of life and all its wonderful sounds:

If I had to pick a favorite video of the night, it would be the following one. I don't know if I've seen a more absurdist clip: a man sits atop a moving car, as if he's a cowboy on a horse. Revelers wave to him. The car horn sounds. A man offscreen guffaws. The camera pans to a large, shirtless man, wearing an eagle mask. He yells, "Yeah!" The video ends. I love it.

If I had to pick a Most Representative of Philadelphia video, though, I would pick this next one. A man in an eye patch is interviewed on the street. He promptly curses his way through a brief interview in which he praises "Big Dick Nick" Foles for stepping "the fuck up" after quarterback Carson Wentz was injured earlier in the season. It is particularly Philly in the pronunciation of "down," which honestly defies explanation.

(If you need a translation, he says, "Yo it's crazy. Wentz goes down, Big Dick Nick stepped the fuck up!")

I will be rooting for the Eagles to beat the Patriots in two weeks, and I will also be rooting for the city of Philadelphia to survive, regardless of the outcome.