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Canadian Police Will Force You to Listen to Nickelback If You Drink and Drive

“We figure if you are foolish enough to get behind the wheel after drinking then a little Chad Kroeger and the boys is the perfect gift for you.”

by Alex Robert Ross
Nov 29 2016, 11:20pm

There are very few things that I consider to be absolutes in this world. Humans are intricate, odd beings, able to hold many concepts and ideals in their minds at one time; it's what provides us with some hope as a species, if there is any left. I believe in few things that are Good without Badness or Bad without any Goodness.

However, I tend to make two exceptions:

1) Drinking and driving is selfish and awful.
2) Nickelback are bad at music.

Are these controversial beliefs? Of course not. They are widely-held views that many of my sisters and brothers in the world share with me. I do not think these to be radical. They are fundamental pillars of humankind.

But never did I expect the police in Kensington, Prince Edward Island , Canada to enforce such values concurrently.  In a Facebook post over the weekend, Kensington Police service announced that drink-driving would be punishable by forced exposure to Nickelback. 

Read their reasoning:

The trouble with this, of course, is that these two entirely Bad things, when combined, must logically produce a Good thing, devoid of Bad in and of itself.

I now expect demand for Uber drivers in the Kensington area to rise.

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