What Do You Call Your Vagina or Penis?

People don’t like to say “penis” or “vagina” for some reason, even—or especially—when they’re talking about penises and vaginas. Some people are so uncomfortable with their sexy bits they have pet names for them, like “Little Richard” or “The Hungry Hungry Hippo.” We wondered what people on the street called their ho-has and ding-dongs, and some people even told us.

Leif: I don't know; Like peen, dick?

Peen works. Do you have a nickname for your, uh, peen?
No.

What about you? What word do you use for vagina?
Paige: I guess va-jay-jay pretty much. Or vagine. Yeah, vagine…

Amanda: My friends and I usually call a dick a “shalom.”

What about vaginas? Do you or your friends have a nickname for your own?
Well, we’ve all named our breasts after the Beatles.

Nick: Do I have one?

You don’t use slang terms for dicks?
I mean I have before. I wouldn't say there's a go-to.

So what's your favorite?
You know there's a song by Tom Green I downloaded as a child called "Pet Names for Genitalia." My favorite in that song was Purple Helmet Warrior.

Purple Helmet Warrior?
Yeah, for like an erect penis 'cause it's all purple at the top and it looks like a helmet.

You don't have a nickname for your own Purple Helmet Warrior?
No, but I have a co-worker who calls his King Kong.

Dan: Uh, box for a girl.

What about for guys?
I don’t know.

Do you have a nickname for your own?
Is this going to be printed with my name and picture on it?

Yeah.
Okay, my girlfriend calls it "Peeny."

Previously – The Happiest Moment of Your Life