Track. Reign. Apple. People give their children idiotic names all the time.
As a nod to the social network's role in galvanizing the 2011 Egyptian revolution, a young Egyptian man named his daughter Facebook. And then there's Unique, which a whopping 290 baby girls in the US were dubbed in 2009. Uhh?
Then again, all names are kinda dumb. Dolores means "pain," for god's sake. And what kind of macabre mother names her child Chastity?
So it comes as no surprise that a young British man has decided to change his name from Sam Smith to "Bacon Double Cheeseburger"—which does have a bit more pizzazz than the quotidian "Sam," if you think about it.
"It was the culmination of probably too many drinks in the pub where there was a conversation about names," the 33-year-old Cheeseburger told the Evening Standard about the inspiration for his nom de boeuf. "My friends were quite supportive of anything that makes me look silly," he added.
And so Cheeseburger successfully ditched his birth name after applying for a change by deed poll (the name-changing process in the UK), but apparently his fiancée isn't too keen on marrying someone who shares a moniker with pub fare. ("No girl ever dreams of spending her big day marrying a man called Bacon," he pointed out.) Same deal with his family: "My mum was furious but my dad thinks it's hilarious. He's more than happy to use my new name." Cheeseburger noted that he signs his work emails as "BD Cheeseburger."
In related news, yet another food-obsessed Brit has managed to top Cheeseburger né Smith. Mark Benson is reportedly so enamored of restructured pork meat—he eats it on toast every day for breakfast—that he legally changed his middle name to "I Love Spam" last year.
"The postman asks if the 'Spam man' is in, and I get some funny looks when I check into hotels and they say, 'Are you serious?'" Benson told Metro.
Benson and Cheeseburger are clearly in good spirits about their names, having had the opportunity to pick them themselves. But that's cold comfort to the Denims and the Vejonicas of this world, who may need to look to their own pantries for nomenclatural inspiration.