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Sports

What is Going on With Tristan Thompson's Hands in All These Pictures?

He does not seem to know what to do with them.

by Mike Vorkunov
Feb 2 2017, 9:05pm

Hands—we all have them but do we really know what they are? Are they five fingered human claws? Are they what separate us from other mammals? Or are they damn nuisances that make us look weird even when we find that right outfit?

Take Tristan Thompson. That guy has no idea what to do with his hands. He's got them. They're massive. But they are just freaking nuisances. Someone noticed on Reddit and put together a little gallery of Tristan Thompson having next to no idea how to handle his hands.

He dresses up well for the ESPYs. Nice tux. Classy bowtie. But then the damn hands are just there, still stuck to his arms. I bet he just wants to hide them.

Or what about when he's standing there, right by the water. That moonlight is beautiful. Just the right lighting for a good photo. But those hands, man. Is he supposed to put them in his pockets? At his hips? Make a fist? He just holds them up. Even his hands are saying they don't know what they're supposed to do.

It goes on and on. Two cumbersome hands. One well-dressed but befuddled man. No matter where he is, they're there. Just scroll through his Instagram. You will notice a couple other things. First, even in somewhat normal poses, your eyes are instantly drawn to his hands because they seem to be screaming we don't know what to do, either!! And also, there are a lot of pictures of just straight up hands.

One day, when the machines win and they've taken over, they'll build each new fleet with no hands. They'll know how to fix what evolution has not. And their photos will look just right.

h/t Reddit