Australian Officials Say that Teachers Should Eat Burritos but Not Drink Coffee

I don't know about you, but I vividly recollect almost every single one of my teachers, from elementary school through college, guzzling coffee like it was a drinking fountain they found in the middle of the Sahara. Essentially, it appeared to be their lifeblood—the magical elixir that enabled them to tolerate all of our note-passing and disgusting teenage flirtation without boring themselves into a deep sleep while droning on and on for hours at a time about the archways of 14th-century Flemish cathedrals. To revoke their coffee would have been sadistic.

But that's basically what the Australian Capital Territory government is trying to do. A new food health rating policy introduced in ACT public schools last month ranks individual foods on a scale of green (go for it—this stuff is "healthy"), amber (occasional indulgences), or red (steer clear). These ratings are posted in cafeterias and at food-centric events and activities.

But their categorization process has been a little befuddling to some. For example, dried fruit, nut butters, spring rolls, and salsa all qualify as "amber" foods, but bagels, burritos, and pancakes have somehow made their way onto the "green" list, which "should always be available, displayed in prominent areas, and actively promoted and encouraged," according to the ACT government's official statement about the new guidelines.

And on the "red" list—of foods that "should not be provided or sold in schools"—you'll find coconut milk, most types of fruit and vegetable juice, and nearly every type of coffee drink, including "Coffee-style products (including flavoured), mocha, latte, cappuccino or similar, with the exception of coffee-style milk drinks." Those "coffee-style milk drinks," for the record, are also barred in primary schools, and in secondary schools when they're over a certain size.

Well, that's fine and dandy (we guess), but on top of that, teachers—as positive ambassadors of adulthood—are discouraged from eating or drinking red-rated foods and drinks in the presence of students. Which means that your third-grade teacher is now essentially barred from swilling a latte to get through the strife of hammering long division into the heads of 24 nine-year-olds simultaneously, all in the name of setting an example that… coffee is bad? (Studies have shown that it is safe, and possibly even beneficial, to drink up to four to five cups of coffee per day.)

But that same teacher could chomp down on a burrito, or even pizza (as long as the cheese is low-fat) and still be a bastion of personal nutrition, according to the ACT standards. Needless to say, some are saying that these messages are mixed—especially when it comes to an adult's right to self-caffeinate.

But a spokesman for the ACT educational department tells The Canberra Times that teachers will not be penalized for eating "red" foods in front of their classes—merely that it is discouraged. And Hugh Boulter—vice president of the ACT Council of Parents & Citizens Associations—argues that if a drink is in a mug, it is not technically being displayed. "It could just as easily be peppermint tea as a cup of coffee," he said. "So I wouldn't have an objection in regard to that."

The traffic light system was developed in accordance with official Australian Dietary Guidelines, but there are still a lot of unanswered questions about what made it into each color category—and whether teachers are sincerely being told that they're doing their students wrong by being seen drinking a cup of joe.

After all, a teacher without their morning coffee is probably not a very nice teacher.