I Went to Corey Feldman's Birthday Party
DISCLAIMER: I was only allowed to attend Corey's birthday party under the condition that he have final edit of whatever I write. Below is the text approved by Corey Feldman:
You probably know Corey Feldman from classic movies like Lost Boys, Stand By Me, and the Goonies. But for the last year or so, he's been working on a new project, a "360-degree interactive experience" called Corey's Angels.
Corey's Angels are, essentially, Corey's version of the Playboy Playmates: a gang of handpicked babes who constantly surround him. Only instead of chilling at the Playboy Mansion, they gather with Corey in his house (which he's dubbed "The Feldmansion").
Here's how his website describes the venture:
"Corey for the first time in his adult life is currently single. Corey also being an actor musician has the good fortune of traveling all over the world where he has the opportunity to meet gorgeous and beautiful women of all races and types of ethnicity. Now for the first time he is merging all of those worlds together by creating Corey's Angels."
Lucky for us, Corey is going to be throwing several parties a year that plebs like you and I will be able to attend for just $250.
Ron Jeremy, Tom Green, Woody Harrelson, and Chris Kirkpatrick have all previously been spotted at Corey's parties. When I found out that the hottest names in Hollywood were going to be living it up in a mansion with some of the hottest bitches on the planet I knew I had to see that shit with my own two eyes.
I feel I should mention the parties are only $250 to attend if you're a guy. Chicks get to go for free, as long as they are preapproved by Corey, and are willing to wear lingerie for the duration. Which may sound unfair if you're a dude, but can you fault a brother for doing everything possible to stop his shindig from boiling over into a full-blown sausage party? Don't act like you wouldn't do the same thing if you had the option.
Also, he's Corey fucking Feldman. He can do whatever he wants, man.
If you're feeling like a super-VIP experience, there are extras you can splash out for, too. For instance, $500 will get you an hour in Corey's private hot tub with security and bottle sevice. $2,500 will get you a private poolside cabana with "private angel service" like the one pictured above.
Anyway, I arrived at the party around 10:30 PM and it was already in full swing.
Corey's house was just as sick as you'd expect it to be. It was like the kind of bachelor pad you own in your dreams—if your dreams weren't totally lame. Dude has a pool table and a Street Fighter 2 machine right in his fucking living room.
Oh yeah, did I mention he has a fucking massage chair?
Corey's "free-for-hot-girls, $250-for-dudes" policy was working pretty well. Babes were literally everywhere.
They weren't just hot though. The dude is like a magnet for interesting people. Like this chick, I asked her what she did and she was like, "Well, mainly, I'm a model, an actress, a skydiver, a casting agent, a surfer, a music producer, and a philanthropist. But I also do other stuff."
What do your friends do? Work in a fucking office or some shit? I bet your parties rule*.
This is Corey introducing the first of the evening's many surprises. Canadian celebrity DJ and founding member of Corey's Angels, DJ Courtney.
Oh yeah, and the whole evening was being filmed for the pilot of an online reality show that Corey is making about his life with the Corey's Angels which, I for one, am psyched to see.
As this particular party was in honor of Corey's birthday, a gaggle of angels brought out a cake for Corey at midnight.
And, of course, the birthday boy got a three-way birthday kiss.
Then ANOTHER special guest DJ came down. This guy. Who just happens to be a member of a little band called the Black Eyed Peas.
This is him dropping "Fuck You" by CeeLo, I believe. This is also approximately when things started to get rowdy.
And also approximately when I was approached by a former Playboy Playmate and a porn-star friend of hers, who asked me, "Wanna play a game called Playmate Versus Porn Star? We both blow you, then you tell us which one did a better job."
But that's a story I'll save for another time ;)
It seemed like the party was dying down, but Corey had one more surprise up his sleeve: a Brazilian Carnival dancer!! Like I said before: dude knows how to throw a party.
And then, some time around 2:30 AM, the party was over.
As we were leaving, a precession of babes were making their way up the grand staircase to Corey's bedroom. "You guys headed upstairs to sleep?" asked one of the party guests. "Ha! Sleeping is probably the last thing we'll be doing tonight!" came the reply.
Happy birthday, man!
Want to see more photos from Corey's epic birthday party? Enjoy!