Photo by Queenie
Rappers are just big kids, right? They dress in those enormous, oversized T-shirts and baggy trousers like little children wearing their dad’s clothes. They’re also fussy eaters, just like young children who are yet to fully explore the wonderment and joy that a veritable cornucopia of different flavours can bring. They also love shiny things.
We went to a hotel room in central London and met with this big kid, sorry, rapper, called Chamillionaire. He wears a big chain with a diamond chameleon and the word “koopa” (the turtle from kids’ favourite Donkey Kong) on the end.
Vice: What’s your favourite type of ice cream?
Chamillionaire: I’d say cookies and cream. It’s like vanilla ice cream with cookies inside of it.
Do your parents let you eat ice cream? I heard you had strict parents.
Yeah, they let me eat ice cream, but they were very strict. I had to be in before a certain time, before it got dark. You know, I couldn’t go to spend the night at a friend’s house without them saying yes. They had to approve everything I did.
Your grill is very shiny, but it looks painful. Did it hurt so much that you cried when you got it made?
Nah, it didn’t hurt. I know how to make them. You build a mould that goes around your teeth, so it fits perfectly. I still make my own. I don’t do it to make money off of it—I do it if I need one or my homeboy or brother or somethin’ needs one.
Sounds great. Do you believe in the tooth fairy?
Do I believe? No! Not at all. The tooth fairy ain’t never brought me nuthin’.
What if the tooth fairy brought you a shiny new grill?
Ahahahaha. Nah if that happened, I would think someone was tryin’ to get one on me.
What do you want for Christmas this year?
I’ve got a lot of stuff that I still don’t even use to this day…cars, clothes…I just don’t have the time.
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Did you write a list when you were younger?
I don’t NOT believe in him; it’s possible, but I’m not sure. I didn’t write him a letter, I just used to wait around as a kid and hope that he’d bring something.
How was he supposed to know what you wanted if you didn’t write to him?
I dunno, he’s supposed to know everything, right?