On Wednesday morning, the rest of the world blinked their collective eyes, rubbed them repeatedly and then read and re-read (and re-read again) the news coming out of our United States: we'd somehow elected Donald Trump to the country's highest office. International newsstands quickly started to reflect what some of us were feeling back here: Germany's Der Spiegel ran an illustration of a Trump-shaped asteroid hurtling toward the planet with the headline "It's The End of the World (As We Know It). In France, Liberation went with "Trumpocalypse." And Mexico's El Grafico typed out an understated "FUUUCK!"
And now bars and coffee shops around the world have started trolling Americans almost as hard as Americans trolled themselves. On Friday, a coffee shop in London's Clerkenwell neighborhood put out a chalkboard with the message "All Americans Must Be Accompanied By An Adult." Goswell Road Coffee has received messages of congratulations for its clever sign, as well as some criticism from people on this side of the Atlantic.
Although the café has to be enjoying the international attention, it swears that it's just some harmless fun. "Our signs are for the LOLz only," Goswell Road tweeted. "We, as a company, have no political view or standing."
Some other European bars, cafés, and restaurants have chalked out some similar opinions. London's Jonestown Coffee—which shares an owner with Goswell Road— went with "The Future is Bright, The Future is Orange."
O'Connell's Bar in Dublin says that—at least temporarily—it's probably OK to talk politics around its bar.
The Old Nun's Head in London offered a free pint (and a cuddle) to any American who could show proper identification. "You can't just put on a silly accent to get free beer," it said.
Meanwhile, Harlem Café in Belfast has a place for Hillary Clinton, if she needs something to do with her newly acquired free time.
But mostly, I wish that Bij Babette, a tea house in Haarlem, Netherlands had been right. In August, it advertised a hot-air filled Trump scone on its outdoor chalkboard. "The difference is you can change your scone if you realize you made a mistake," it wrote.