This Week in Food Porn: Salmonberries and Sriracha

In the words of my good friend Rocky Balboa, "One bite at a time, one plate at a time, one meal at a time." Or, to quote my style icon and ear inspiration, "You're gonna eat lightning and crap thunder." Or, as the wise man Apollo Creed once said, "Sports make ya grunt and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker. Just eat."

And here, my loves, are the greatest bites the internet has to offer from the last seven days of munching. Wake up, plate up and enjoy the ride.

Gelato, we see you. #spoonfeed ?: @alexafleisher via @tryitordiet

A photo posted by Spoon University (@spoonuniversity) on Feb 25, 2016 at 8:32pm PST

According to Baltimore legend, this is the actual picture used by John Waters to try and persuade Diana Ross to play Ricki Lake's hair hopping, chain-smoking, tooth-flashing mother in Hairspray. Sadly, Ross was busy getting her shoulders polished and couldn't make the dates, but luckily Debbie Harry was able to step in at the last minute.

Oyster, daikon & brussel sprouts. Dish uploaded by @barbode #gastroart A photo posted by Gastro Art (@gastroart) on Feb 25, 2016 at 9:27pm PST

Isn't it just the worst when you get a scab on a knuckle? Or a knee? It doesn't matter how many times you put a plaster over it, the thing just keeps cracking open, weeping like a child in Bambi. The worst.

A photo posted by Rosie Birkett (@rosiefoodie) on Feb 22, 2016 at 4:10am PST

Bring me my bow of burning gold, bring me my arrows of desire, bring me my spear. O clouds unfold! Bring me my torch of golden chips. Bring me a shower of vinegar, the covering of salt. Bring me a pier on which to eat them, in this grey and pleasant land.

And we are just tasting some new batches of kombucha. The black tea and rose petal is a particular favourite with subtle rose notes. Kombucha has really taken off since we started making it when we first opened - London seems much more interested in it now.And so we're going to be experimenting with lots more flavour infusions over the coming months. #kombucha #healthydrinks A photo posted by Rawduck Hackney (@raw_duck) on Feb 22, 2016 at 5:39am PST

Do you know what I fancy, Mary? A cool glass of fermented tea. What the hell, it's market day, why not throw a little symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast in there too? I've been out on the tractor all morning drilling carrots and, by golly, I've worked up quite the thirst over here. Let's toast to our good health with a probiotic fungus and oxidize a little yeast to make some of that old sweet sweet alcohols, acetic and other acids. After all, kombucha's gonna get us all eventually.

Dreaming of: salmonberries, Bering Sea breeze, and Alaskan summers. Thanks for sharing your photos with us @beatrizbythesea! #aksalmonsisters #beringsea #salmonberries #dutchharbor #wildfoods #forage #modernhomesteading #eatlocal #slowfood #wildandfree #fireweed #aleutianislands #villagelife #islandlife #trustthewild #alaskansummer #sharingalaska #explorealaska

A photo posted by Salmon Sisters (@aksalmonsisters) on Feb 25, 2016 at 10:36am PST

Many's the time I've been off, wandering the heathery hills surrounding my huge, white, terracotta-tiled palazzo, with nothing in my hand but a colander. People often ask me: "Nell, why don't you ever take water with you on your walks? Or a map? Wouldn't it be more useful to carry a coat? Or at least some plasters?" To which I reply: "You can't carry raspberries in plasters, dumb-dumb."

Foraged passion fruits #passionfruit #forage #fruit #frugivore #fruitarian #plantbased #poweredbyfruit #poweredbyplants #growfood #wildfood #vegan #rawvegan #811 #811rv #801010 #801010rv #9055 A photo posted by @forest__nymph on Feb 24, 2016 at 4:09pm PST

Fruitbedrijf Vermeer teelt naast passchionfruit look delijious kot un half, non?

A Nice hot Cuppa is just what I need…. London you are still so @palomaparrot pawfect shot #ineedtea #warmth #happythursday #tbt #rea #ilovetea #englishbreakfasttea #englishbreakfast #teaandtoast #smalldog #tinydog #herbaltea #yogitea #smile #happydog #healthydog #bestwoof #dogslover #dogmom #workingmom #instadog #morningpost #coffee #coffeeaddict #mustlovedogs #doglove #hottea #ilovecoffee #morningtea

A photo posted by T A I L S of C H I S W I C K (@tailsofchiswick) on Feb 25, 2016 at 12:38am PST

I once watched a wolfhound eat an entire bag of raisins. I swear to God, it was like watching the world's worst, shortest canine bender. Its eyes rolled, its tongue lolled, it got the shakes, it howled up the curtains, and twitched like an insomniac's eyelid. But before you all ring the RSPCA, let me assure you: the dog was fine. Totally not dead. Not even a bit dead, in fact.

And here it is again mid-cooking, ready to be shown of in the dining room. #pigsfatmakesyouhappy #wellknownfact A photo posted by Magnus Nilsson (@faviken) on Feb 19, 2016 at 11:28am PST

Now, I'm as big a fan of the #fatpigsmakeyouhappy hashtag as the next man. And the next man is Eric Pickles. But this does look a little bit like one of those finger pianos, doesn't it? I mean, just a little bit? I'm surely not the only one imagining finger-picking out "The Entertainer" on dem bones.

Nigel Slater: "A good cookery book can, in no small way, change your life for the better." Our new feature re-visits favourite classic cookbooks. Today in OFM, an excerpt from Margaret Costa's Four Seasons Cookery Book, "The book that kindled my love of the written recipe" - Nigel Slater.: Romas Foord

A photo posted by Observer Food Monthly (@obsfood) on Feb 21, 2016 at 1:06am PST

How do you like your eggs in the morning? I like mine with a kiss. And just the slightest hint of a Ukrainian flag.

Just roasted some #freerange #chooks for our FREE #chipotle #chicken #taco samples @farrofresh Grey Lynn this Sunday. Smells sooooo good! ❤️????? A photo posted by The Lucky Taco (@theluckytaconz) on Feb 25, 2016 at 4:22pm PST

Gimme five. Way up high. Down below. Aaaaah, you're too slow.

When your burger is a bit too big for your waffles 1st world problems Today's lunch was yet another burger that wasn't as epic as yesterday (don't know how I'll ever top that) but was still BOMB Made a #waffleburger with my homemade sriracha waffles with a 6oz 93/7 lean ground beef burger topped with 2% mexican cheese, sautéed jalapeños & green peppers, and sriracha Macros: 487 cals, 36g carbs, 16g fat, 41g protein So brand new Flexible Dieting Lifestyle Book of Recipes 2.0 will be launching here in the coming days (it'll be a surprise) and my sriracha waffle recipe along with 65+ others will be in it! As well as my heart, sweat and tears of trial and error over the past year or so of creating all these recipes! So I am still taking any last minute pre orders at 50% off retail so shoot me an email at Zach@FlexibleDietingLifestyle.com to reserve your copy! FlexibleDietingLifestyle.com #flexibledietinglifestyle #ifitfitsyourlifestyle

A photo posted by Zach Rocheleau (@theflexibledietinglifestyle) on Feb 24, 2016 at 9:46am PST

O say can you see, by Sriracha's early light, What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last oozing, Whose roasted peppers and beef stars through the perilous fight, O'er the waffles we watched, were so gallantly eating? And the burgers' pink glare, the fat bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our colon was still there; O say does that carb-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the sat fats of the brave?