Phoenix Suns Gorilla Slides onto Court During Play

Early in the fourth quarter of an NBA game between the Phoenix Suns and the Washington Wizards Tuesday night, we finally got irrefutable evidence from a beloved primate that Vice-President Mike Pence is right. Evolution is a scam.

This large hairy beast, believed by "science" to be our ancestral buddy, is clearly not human in any way, shape, or form. Otherwise, why would a rogue simian put so many of his fellow hominids in jeopardy?

The Phoenix Suns Gorilla, best known as the lone big-ass monkey capable of making us all question our bedrock belief system because he can elevate and hammer it home just like humans, destroyed all credibility when he inexplicably Superman'd onto the court during the actual game. A certain liberally biased NBA franchise would have you believe this was the act of a hero, a selfless act to prevent player injury.

NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES. — Phoenix Suns (@Suns)March 8, 2017

But we know better.

Sure, an errant drumstick that found its way into the paint might have caused Wizards shooting guard Bojan Bogdanovic to slip, tumble, or possibly even turn an ankle. But sliding headfirst into the lane while the ball is on the perimeter could've killed BoBo. Just look at the damage Zaza Pachulia did to Kevin Durant, and he ain't some damn dirty ape hellbent on destroying the human race.

In short, these "ape men" and their "monkey business" must be stopped.