Tinder is, in a certain sense, magic. In a city of millions of people, many of them single, the chance of meeting any one specific human is unlikely through chance or coincidence. Then here comes this app and—poof!—a whole chunk of those humans fall into your hands, one swipe away from what could be a fateful meeting. Magic, right? But what about when you've swiped and Matched and Groupered and Bumbled your way through your entire city (and probably some other cities, too)? And the whole thing seems way less about magic and more about the human scum that floats to the top of every city? It's time to break out the big guns—as in actual magic.
Set Your Intention
The thing about magic is that it's not going to do the work for you. You can't just throw some fairy dust into the air and tell Tinkerbell to figure it out. Whether you're using candles, crystals, or enlisting the help of a psychic or sorceress, you need to know what you're looking for before you start asking the universe to provide it.
Start by asking yourself some logistical questions: long-term love or short little fling? If it's quick and easy sexytime you're after, focus on spells and rituals that will bring the passion back into your life (and bedroom). If you're hoping to find "the one," think closely about what you want in a partner. Try making a list of desirable traits. Think about what it is about you that makes you want those things.
If you've spent time in the trenches of OKCupid, you probably know your strengths and weaknesses, and you definitely know what you don't want in a mate.
In addition to focusing on love itself, set an intention to bring what you want into your life. Then, gather your tools.
Where to begin? Well, if you're in New York, Enchantments, an East Village cauldron-and-spell boutique, is a solid first stop. (You can also order items online if you're elsewhere.) It's well-known for custom carved candles that will cost you $27.50. A reasonable price to pay for everlasting love, no?
The hardest thing about candle magic is figuring yourself out enough to know which one to pick. Do you want the "Catch a New Love" candle—probably the closest to Tinder with a wick? Or are you looking to get out of that feeling that love may just not be for you, with the "Love Uncrossing" candle? There are candles for long-distance crushes, queer crushes, ones that will help to create the kind of crush that's "quiet" or the kind that's "mesmerizing." It's up to you.
Once you get your candle home, concentrate on your intentions, light it, and let it burn out on its own. It's a simple formula: Figure out what you want, and with a little help from your new candle, you might just get it.
Even easier than candle magic is the art of crystals. This practice also involves a fair amount of self-knowledge. Crystals are more for your own benefit than for actually conjuring your future paramour, but you're less likely to entertain ogres if you're in a good place yourself. A quick crystal spell, done every night, can work wonders on your love life. Whether you believe in The Secret or any of that power-of-positive-thinking stuff or not, setting an intention and sending it your good vibes can't hurt.
Find your local crystal emporium and block off a couple of hours. Chat with the proprietress, learn as much as you can, and fill that velvet pouch to the brim. What you'll need for your simple nightly incantation is as follows: black obsidian, clear quartz, rose quartz, and an intention. Every night before bed, say a little something—I don't want to call it a prayer, but whatever approximation of that you're down with, and be sure to thank your crystals for looking out for you. Their spirits and any other spirits you might call on for guidance are whose energy you're trying to harness here. Now speak to each stone in order. The black obsidian contains the energies of the earth. Ask it to let you use these energies to cleanse your world of bad energies as you relate to love. Next, ask the clear quartz to help you see clearly. Finally, ask the rose quartz to bring new love to your life, and to make it true (or whatever kind of true relationship you're looking for). Do this every night, and make sure to put your stones where you can see them during the day. The combination of the crystal magic and your own good vibes should give you the love burst you're looking for. (Spell source here.)
The odds of magic working any better than opening an app or sitting on a barstool until the right person slinks out of the darkness and into your arms might seem slim, but magic works—if only to get you to really think about what you want out your next relationship. And you'll definitely have less of a hangover (psychic and otherwise) the next morning than you would after that Grouper date.