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People Want to Fuck the Joker

"I'm JORNY... Joker horny."

by Drew Schwartz
Oct 10 2019, 4:03pm

Still from Joker via Warner Bros.

There's an unofficial rule on the internet, akin to Rule 34, whereby if a big, scary movie villain exists, people want to fuck it. They fantasize about Venom's tongue; they dream of eating thicc Grinch's ass; they want Pennywise from IT to "sneak into my bedroom at night, hold me down by my throat, and fuck me while staring down at me with those crazy yellow eyes." It's no surprise, then, that we've now reached the phase of the discourse surrounding Joker where people are getting extremely, publicly horny for the Clown Man online.

Some folks are professing their desire to get freaky with Joaquin Phoenix's character in subtle, suggestive ways. They've got enough restraint to just say that Todd Phillips's severely dark movie kind of, sort of, definitely turned them on.

Others are a little more explicit—they want to bang Batman's arch nemesis, and they're not afraid to say it, goddamn it!

Then there are those with more concrete fantasies. They've made their peace with the fact that a murderous clown turns them on, they've admitted that they want to bone him, and now they're thinking about... this?

Not content to simply be horny on main, people who want to fuck the Joker are, apparently, taking action. Pornhub saw more than 741,000 searches for "Joker" in the first few days after the movie premiered, according to TMZ. TMZ also reports that if Joaquin Phoenix were ever going to do porn, he should go by "Joaquin Penix," so there's that.

To those of you who want to have sex with the clown, we say this: more power to you. We're not here to kink shame anybody, and Joaquin Phoenix is an objectively handsome man. Just know that the incels are going to have a goddamn field day with this.

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