Teens these days are lame as hell. They don't smoke or drink or have sex nearly as much as they used to, and somehow even their attempts at rebellion wind up making principals happy. Apparently, they're such goddamn do-gooders that they'll do whatever it takes to follow their parents' rules—even if that means pulling a Ferris Bueller and racing like a madman to get home on time.
According to Michigan Live, a 17-year-old in Detroit was busted by the cops last weekend after he was caught speeding down the highway at 138 MPH because he was "late for curfew."
Police pulled the unnamed teen over at 8:45 PM after they spotted him racing down I-75 like some kind of wannabe Dale Earnhardt Jr. But when they caught up to the kid and talked to him, the cops realized he wasn't some reckless youth on a joyride or whatever—he was apparently just a very good boy trying to make his 9:30 PM curfew and keep his parents happy.
According to the Michigan State Police, the trooper "gave the kid a break on the reckless driving charge"—presumably because the boy's motives were pure as hell—but the cop still slapped him with a hefty speeding ticket. The tweet also awarded the teen the "SMH award," which should make for a great addition to his college applications.
The Detroit PD didn't specify exactly what kind of a fine the kid landed, but Michigan Live points out that tickets for going 26 MPH over the limit or more start at $155 (with $4 extra per mile), so his parents are probably shelling out at least a couple hundred bucks for their responsible teen's, uh, not-so-responsible drive home. Maybe this'll teach them to make the kid's curfew just a bit more lenient so he doesn't have to go full Bueller the next time he stays out too late.
Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.
Follow VICE on Twitter.