As if the absurd amount of money doled out to athletes isn't enough already.... Lambs are slaughtered at their feet, while gold, frankincense, and myrrh are laid at their throne to celebrate their every step. So why should the Gods favor them in the mighty Powerball, too?
St. Louis Rams defensive end Chris Long—masquerading as a "hopeful Powerball player" in a trucker hat, camo, Wayfarers, and a regal mustache—went on local TV news station WVIR based out of Charlottesville, Virginia, to announce his plans for his winnings.
I already told my old lady that if we win we're going down to Myrtle Beach for about ten months and getting a time share, and the whole nine yards. Maybe a big boat, a couple boats, a lot of boats. And we're gonna have a great time.
He later went to Twitter to celebrate his appearance—and make a correction.
For the record my name was Rod Carriker so Chris long may be a type O
— Chris Long (@JOEL9ONE) January 14, 2016
He apparently tried to come up with a moniker to disguise himself, though the TV station didn't really pick up on the joke, making the whole segment a little strange. Also, given the fact that Long has a $50 million contract—more than the Rod Carrikers of the world would ever see—maybe he shouldn't go on TV in "Hickface" to talk about his dreams of timeshares and boat purchases. Long seems like a nice guy, though, so we're willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
As of yet, he hasn't come forward to claim his ticket.