Theresa May strides down Whitehall, past the imposing stone facades of the government departments she'll now preside over, with a spring in her step. Today she'll make history as Britain's second-ever female prime minister, and the last woman left standing after the gladiatorial bloodshed of Britain's post-Brexit political machinations.
As she turns left onto Downing Street, she spots the looming press pack awaiting her arrival. She pauses to consider her outfit: silver glittery heels, Bridget Jones underwear, transparent PVC A-line skirt (so demure!), the pearlescent nod to Maggie Thatcher.
She steps forward into a burst of camera flashes and gawking tourists.
While in reality Prime Minister May actually entered office from the comfortable environs of an air-conditioned ministerial car, Broadly was on hand to witness drag performer 25-year-old Dani Singer attempt to turn up for May's first day at work.
Timed to coincide with the date that May entered power, Singer's protest was part of a day of anti-Theresa May protests outside 10 Downing Street, the official London residence of the prime minister. Protestors highlighted May's draconian surveillance measures; her use of secret courts; her introduction of a rule requiring non-EU workers to earn £35,000 a year or face deportation; and her habit of placing vulnerable people in indefinite detention facilities.
Schoolchildren and tourists alike stared as Singer tried to make her way past police officers into the entrance of Downing Street. "What are you going to do about the refugees?" a passerby shouted. The response came in clipped tones. "In the sea with them!"
As Singer passed, a schoolboy of around 11 or 12 shouted loudly, "She's crazy! She's the craziest person in the world."
Standing outside Downing Street, Broadly caught up with a dragged-up Theresa May to find out about her plans for office.
BROADLY: Hi Theresa, thanks for talking to us. What are you planning for your first day in office?
I'm going to have a nice cup of camomile tea first, and then I'm going to slash the welfare budget after lunch.
What are your ambitions now that you're in charge of the government?
Cuts are very dear to me. I like my bread pre-cut, I like my benefits system pre-cut. I will be making cuts to everything, because that's what this country needs to unite it.
Are there any particular policies you want to introduce?
Alongside cuts, I want to make advances as well. I really want to re-advance [notorious anti-gay legislation] Section 28 in particular. I also want to introduce a new responsibility for scapegoating to the Home Office. To be honest, the Labour Party's already kick-started the scapegoating campaign, so a lot of the hard work's already been done.
Do you consider yourself to be a feminist, and if so, why?
Yes, because I am a woman.
Was there anything else?
What do you think of [immigrant detention facility] Yarl's Wood?
It's brilliant! It's an absolute example of how things can be run. It's efficient. It's brutalist in its architecture, and in its approach. People love it so much there that they actually sometimes stay for months and months, even years on end.
How will you decorate 10 Downing Street?
I'm probably going to get [flamboyant interior designer] Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen in, because I think he's just the man for the job. I'd like to see a little feminine touch, maybe some posies, some cat skins draped over lampshades and things.
Post-Brexit, a lot of people have been telling ethnic minorities to "get out." How will you make that happen?
It depends a lot on winning the police vote. Flash raids are always good to get people out. I'm a big fan of the removal properties of aircraft, so we're going to be increasing charter flights. We're also going to put some safety pins in the sea that will pop a lot of the life rafts that will be carrying people over. I'm hoping that will be a budget and outcome-effective policy.
What are your plans for EU citizens living in the UK after Brexit?
There won't be any. None whatsoever. Brexit means Brexit.