Aside from the departure of the best closer of all time (and someone generally considered to be one of the nicest people to have ever played the game), Mariano Rivera's retirement also meant the end of "Enter Sandman" being blasted over stadium loudspeakers each time he walked to the mound from the bullpen.
Wherever your musical tastes might lie, most everyone can agree that "Enter Sandman" is a bad ass song, and nothing quite gets your adrenaline going than hearing those first few notes. The song hardly deserves to be retired along with Rivera. Yet in one of those silly baseball traditions—like when people make it a big deal that someone has taken Derek Jeter's locker—no other closer is using "Enter Sandman."
But we here at VICE Sports have found a solution.
This week, the Detroit Tigers named Joakim Soria as the team's new closer. Soria is from Monclova, Coahuila, Mexico, which is just a two-hour drive from Monterrey, Nuevo Leon. Why does this matter? Because the VICE Sports staff has spent all of Friday morning obsessed with a video of three young girls from Monterrey (15-year-old Daniela, 13-year-old Paulina, and 10-year-old Alejandra) in suburbanite clothes absolutely shredding through a version of "Enter Sandman".
And for the entire morning we've been trying to find a way to post this glorious video on our site because the whole world deserves to see these girls rock. But the video by itself isn't sports. It's not sports, right? It couldn't possibly be sports.
But that's where Soria comes in. He should use The Warning's—the name of the girl's band, which is also bad ass when you consider that only one of the members is old enough to have had a Quinceañera—"Enter Sandman" as his entrance music. Since it's not the original, this version wouldn't violate baseball sacred code of all things Mariano Rivera. Plus, it's a badass song and these girls rock, and we all deserve to hear it again at a baseball stadium. So please step up Joakim and do the right thing.
Also, The Warning plays this song better than Metallica does now. At the very least we can all acknowledge that Paulina is a better drummer than Lars Ulrich. Check out this version of Enter Sandman from Metallica's performance at Rivera's retirement ceremony in 2013. Paul O'Neill is so disinterested that he spends most of the time checking his phone.
Young girls from Mexico rocking out isn't sports. Helping these girls raise money to attend the Berklee College of Music isn't sports either. But Joakim Soria is sports. And Joakim Soria and these girls coming together for the greater good of baseball? That's definitely sports.
(h/t Boston Magazine)