I Tried Augustinus Bader’s Very Expensive Face Cream (and It Rocks)

Social media is replete with stories of clueless boyfriends slathering themselves with handfuls of their girlfriends’ exorbitantly expensive serums and lotions, ignorant as to the fact that each pump of La Prairie Skin Caviar or SkinCeuticals vitamin C serum costs more than a lobster roll. The jars and bottles deplete suspiciously rapidly, only for the girlfriends to eventually discover, with horror, their partners’ liberal usage of these precious products. Now that I have joined the cult of German skin-cell doctor turned skincare mogul Augustinus Bader, I admit that I would absolutely lose my shit if I were to walk into the bathroom and find some jabroni—even one I habitually invite to sleep in my bamboo sheets—slathering The Rich Cream on his elbows. 

See, Augustinus Bader’s fancy skincare line has been super, super cult-favey for a while now—and we’ve been taking notes over here. The eponymous creator of these expensive, award-winning products (the most famous of which are The Cream and The Rich Cream; more on both of those in a sec) is Dr. Augustinus Bader, an accomplished biomedical scientist with 30 years of research in stem cell and skin regeneration who parlayed that expertise into making moisturizers for rich people, and frankly, that’s cool with me. He did his 30 years of (science) time, and now he can come up with some really cool patented formulas, charge a premium for them, kick back, and partner with Victoria Beckham on serums for people like Kim Kardashian (and me), who really don’t want to be ugly. 

So, what sets Bader’s stuff apart from the absolute clusterfuck of skincare products on the market right now? The crown jewel ingredient of the line is TFC8, a clinical-trial-supported blend of amino acids, high-grade vitamins, and synthesized molecules naturally found in skin that, in addition to protecting and moisturizing, encourage cell turnover and renewal (TFC stands for “Trigger Factor Complex”).

So, to answer the question you may have had in your brain ever since the first mention of stem cells: No, there are absolutely no ground-up fetuses or anything like that in these skincare products. Much of Bader’s 30 years of research was focused on developing products that could assist with healing burns and other skin traumas (in 2008, he created a groundbreaking Wound Gel), and it’s those same principles and formulas that informed his signature skincare. Augustinus Bader also recently launched a line of haircare and hair restoration products that use the same fancy scientific technology to help people keep and care for the hair they’ve got and encourage growth for the hair they’ve lost—the clinical trials and before-after photos are impressive. 

The Rich Cream is the line’s most popular product, and when I was given the opportunity to try it, it was obviously a resounding “hell yes” from me. If this stuff is good enough for Kim Kardashian, Margot Robbie, Alexa Chung, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Jennifer Aniston—all fans of Bader’s line—it’s absolutely good enough for me.

The bottle itself feels luxurious and beautiful, that shade of almost glowing dark cerulean that is an instant identifier of Bader’s products.

I’m a big label-reader—it’s very revealing to see what you’re actually paying for, especially with skincare—and in addition to the signature TFC8 complex, other notable ingredients in the Rich Cream include squalane (known for its detoxifying and moisturizing capabilities), argan oil (shown to reduce the appearance of wrinkles, help to heal burns, and fight visible signs of aging), evening primrose oil (great for skin health, backed by science), shea butter (simply the GOAT), and “Camellia Sinensis Leaf Extract,” which I happen to recognize as a fancier way of saying green tea. Interestingly, it also contains Sisymbrium irio seed oil—this plant is also known as London rocket and is a weed “found in abandoned fields, waste places, roadsides, and orchards,” according to the California Invasive Plant Council. However, after some quick Googling, I discovered that oil from the cabbage-like plant’s seeds is actually rich in fatty acids that promote cell renewal and actually has purported anti-aging and eczema-fighting capabilities. (The more you know, folks!!!)

For clarification, The Rich Cream is the newer, upgraded version of The Cream (the line’s flagship product), with the addition of hydrolyzed rice protein, hyaluronic acid, and other ingredients that increase efficacy and moisture absorption.

So, of course you’re wondering how it feels on your face—like, did I instantly feel like a multi-millionaire with my own line of loungewear the moment this ambrosia made contact with my visage? This I can tell you: it melts into your skin like a dream, and yes, my face instantly felt smoother and plumper with the power of German science. I followed the instructional video on the product page for how-to application, and that also provided a very pleasant quick face massage. I was expecting a fancy fragrance for some reason but The Rich Cream smells like nothing, which is probably strategic to avoid irritation and focus on the efficacy of the more important ingredients. 

After a few weeks of regular use, I feel like I have seen improvement in some dry patches of my face (mainly on my forehead and cheeks) as well as a reduction in the appearance of some fine lines around my eyes, although, of course, it’s hard to very specifically quantify these things without before and after photos, which I would have taken if I wasn’t currently in witness protection after my father left a life in organized crime. I can tell you this: If given the option and means to use this stuff every day for the rest of my life, I absolutely would. 

So much will The Rich Cream set you back? If you just want to try it out, you can do so for under a hundo—no, it’s not even remotely “cheap,” but you can get the smallest size (15 milliliters) for $92. For the big container (50 milliliters, which should last about six weeks if you use two pumps a day), be ready to drop $290. Of course, I am now emotionally attached to The Rich Cream but cannot afford to spend $2,500 a year on moisturizer, no matter how hot it promises to make me, so I have been rationing mine and using it every other day so that I can at least enjoy three months of feeling like an anthropomorphized Erewhon smoothie. 

The Augustinus Bader line has won a ton of awards, including being named THE GREATEST SKINCARE OF ALL TIME (!!!) by a panel of hundreds of experts and “beauty insiders” at WWD Inc. and while that’s really wild, frankly, I’m not surprised. Elle, Marie Claire, InStyle, Essence, Harper’s Bazaar, and a ton of other publications have also showered accolades on this stuff. Needless to say, there’s a lot of hype—and now, I’m among its many cheerleaders. If only I had a giant Scrooge McDuck swimming pool of gold coins… gonna work on that until my 50-milliliter bottle runs out. Praying that in the meantime, a man doesn’t spot it in my bathroom and put nine pumps of it all over his hands and face. God help me. 

The Rich Cream is available at Augustinus Bader.

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