Poor old Brother. Poor old Viva Brother, for that matter. The butt of every broadsheet joke in 2011/12, they lost their record contract and teh planet laughed :( It was understandable, they sucked. They seemed like a band out of time and out of tune, a hark back to an era when people still bought albums. They seemed to think that people cared what football team they supported. They were dad-rock dinosaurs in an era of pescription drug-addled Canadian R. Kelly fanatics.
But hey, they're back apparently, with new project LOVELIFE (really). And they're cool now. And here's how they've managed to shed off the Paul "Modfather" Weller comparisons.
1. The Name
It's vague, conceptual and it's only one word. I guess you could say that about 'Brother', but LOVELIFE is all in capitals, which makes it cool right? That's what all those American bands with beards do isn't it?
2. The Sound
It's very pop, and cool people listen to pop music these days. But it's not like The Vengaboys pop, it's all weird and stuff, with synthisizers and electronic drums. I guess they're trying to sound like The Weeknd, How To Dress Well and Rihanna, but in practice it actually sounds a bit like more Ian Brown's late solo work. And also worryingly like Hoobastank.
3. They're In America
God knows who's footing the bill for this one, but their Tumblr suggests that LOVELIFE are based in America. It's full of what they evidently think are black and white photos about "looking for America", but actually look like a Facebook photo album made by a 14-year-old girl on holiday with her parents.
The new track "", contains the lyric "Who the fuck do you think you are?", which might put some people off, but stuff the squares, LOVELIFE are lyrical rebels. They don't care if a Parental Advisory sticker will dent their sales, they don't care if Tipper Gore gets all up in their case. LOVELIFE make a dismissive wank gesture at the very idea of censorship.
5. He's Sad
Gone is the boyish bravado of early Brother, the lyrical content is considerably more downbeat now, it's all about heartbreak and regret. You can tell they've been listening to Drake with its half hearted "girl, I miss you (but I'm still macking mad gash)" cliches. I guess that's pretty cool these days, artists seem to be a bit more miserable, but I suppose I'd be pretty miserable if I was in Brother.
6. They Know People Who Take Drugs
"She Makes It Look So Easy" also contains a reference to a girl they know "in a bedroom taking cocaine". And what's more rock 'n' roll than cocaine eh? Even if they don't admit to it themselves Schoolboy Q style, them just knowing Americans who take gak makes them cool by proxy.
To be fair - almost every single one of these statements are true for pretty much every band that I do like. So whatareyagonnado? Welcome aboard LOVELIFE! Good luck to you!
Follow Clive on Twitter @thugclive