Hey there, top shelf Yankee fan. Is it time to up your conspicuous memoribilia game? If autographs and game used gear aren't cutting it, maybe it's time to think about moving into the vacated home of a former Pinstriped star. Luckily for you, the time has never been more right. And I'm not even working on commission while trying to figure out if I want to go back to school.Alex Rodriguez, he of the involuntary forced scapetirement, is trying to get back into his swank assed 15 CPW apartment building but the tenant board or some shit is saying that he had too many hookers so he can't. The kind of hedge fund dudes that live in these places are constantly with hookers because they're the only people they'll cry in front of. So something is amiss, right? Racism? Classcism? Old tenants who still believe in clutch?Well, even the doorman is against it according to this reputable looking dude, so A-Rod must just be a dick who attracts too much (or just enough to get the Daily News to interview you) attention. Anyway, place is up for grabs. But it's going to cost you $30K a month plus five years of NYC rent increase so I hope you have an oil field or are the best right-handed power hitter of your generation.If not, fret not. You like David Cone right? Man did things. Threw a perfect game. Has to be the only dude to ever play on the Royals twice, the Blue Jays twice and the Mets twice. I think he's on TV! Well his place is up for sale and I gotta tell you, I have a good feeling about you buying this. It's a little less than $7M cash and with the way the city is systematically driving out anyone that isn't gaggy rich, it'll be a bargain by Spring Training.Not only that, you'll get to bask in the same glow of a man who went on record saying, "I've had a lot of women that wanted to fuck the uniform." Honest and interesting, that's all we ask for. He also said, "Second of all, I'm not a pervert." Which is really an amazing quote.I mean, look at all these boring ass rooms you could or could not be a pervert in. The choice lies in your corner. You have money, so neither I nor the police care.Come on, rich fans. Show your worth.***Kris Liakos lives in Brooklyn, NY. Follow him on Twitter.
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