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Christopher Harris' Fantasy Football Mailbag Week 10

Fantasy football expert Christopher Harris answers your questions about Blake Bortles, Matt Jones, and then it gets a little weird.
Photo by Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

Join Christopher Harris live on VICE Sports' Facebook page on Sunday at noon ET to ask him your game day fantasy questions, and for fantasy football advice based on film review every single weekday from now until 2017, listen to the Harris Football Podcast at www.HarrisFootball.com.

Eric: What rookie do you think has the best chance to affect the rest of the fantasy season?

I'm assuming I'm not allowed to say Zeke Elliott? I think some folks' tendency will be to say Jordan Howard, but I'd say my next-most-valuable rookie in the second half will be Broncos running back Devontae Booker. Denver head coach Gary Kubiak put an Exorcist-level fear into Booker owners talking about Kapri Bibbs this past week, after Booker did little and Bibbs took a dump-off 69 yards to the house against the Raiders. But I think Booker is a way better player than Bibbs and will get right Week 10 against an execrable Saints run defense. I can mention players like Michael Thomas, Sterling Shepard, and Will Fuller, who've already made varying impacts, but if you want someone from the blue, maybe Falcons tight end Austin Hooper could make a splash, because veteran starter Jacob Tamme's shoulder is bad enough that he's immediately been ruled out in back-to-back weeks; Hooper looks like a fluid guy in a pass pattern with pretty soft hands, in a great offense.

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Read More: NFL Waiver Wire Workout Week 10

Matthew: Will Blake Bortles, a.k.a. The King Of Garbage, ever get benched?

You mean ever as in, during his lifetime? Most assuredly yes. This year, though, my guess is no. The Jaguars have Chad Henne as their backup and history tells us he won't be any better, and his ascension to the starting gig might irreparably remove whatever smallish chance Bortles has to become good. Jacksonville is 2-6 and Gus Bradley is a goner; the fact that Henne hasn't already been under center means Bradley has likely been told there will be no benching of the third-year QB to try and save his own job.

Sorry, folks, he's staying. Photo by Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

Incidentally, don't you love on Thursday night when Al and Cris start talking about the problems in Cleveland, and they say (I'm paraphrasing), "What do they expect? They've had six head coaches since 2008. You need continuity!" Cart? Meet horse. You don't lose because you fire a bunch of coaches. You fire a bunch of coaches because they lost. As though each head coach through which the Browns have churned was a hapless victim of circumstance and didn't contribute to his own demise by, for example, rotating his starting running backs like he was throwing darts (Mike Pettine), calling offensive game plans so conservative Buddy Ryan's ghost was like, "Dude" (Pat Shurmur), or alienating everyone by being a dink who fined players for parking in the wrong spots (Eric Mangini). The only guy with a case for being mistreated was Rob Chudzinski after his lone year in 2013, but the Browns went 4-12 and Chud isn't exactly turning Andrew Luck into a golden god as offensive coordinator in Indy. There are absurdly few humans who are good at being NFL head coaches; giving people who aren't good at it a decade's worth of rope because you don't want to print up new business cards is weak sauce.

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Tore: What should I be doing with Matt Jones?

The timing of Jones's supposed knee injury back in Week 8 was mighty suspicious, coming as it did after he lost a fumble in Week 7 against the Lions that hurt Washington's chances of hanging on for a victory. In London against the Bengals, Rob Kelley did a pretty decent Jones impersonation—physical, powerful, punishing if not exactly scintillating—without all that pesky fumbling.

When you're struggling to get back in the groove. Photo by Raj Mehta-USA TODAY Sports

Now coming out of a bye, Jay Gruden is telling reporters he plans on using Kelley and Chris Thompson against the Vikings, while Jones could be a healthy scratch. My belief in cases like this (and Chicago and Philadelphia) is that if you wait a couple weeks, things will probably change back around. I don't blame Gruden for benching Jones, because the fumbling issue goes back more than a year. But Kelley isn't a great player, and Thompson is a fine third-down back but he's also 5'8". Washington will lose a game, Kelley won't have great results, and suddenly we'll hear stories about how Jones has recommitted himself and is ready for another chance. But I get it: it's Week 10 and we're running out of games. If you have to drop Jones to take a flyer on Dion Lewis or James Starks or someone like that, to see if you can catch lightning in a bottle in the short term, you're forgiven.

Corey: I'm 44. Is Wilco the best band of my generation?

The Jonas Brothers still draw breath, do they not?

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Viola: Is there statistical evidence that wearing a wedding ring on the field makes you any worse at football?

I'm assuming so; I just haven't discovered it yet. The proliferation of men who are so insecure in their marriages that they can't be bothered to take off their rings to play a football game is at an all-time high: Kirk Cousins, Andy Dalton, Ryan Fitzpatrick, kickers and punters. And most of them have got rings made of like onyx or white marble or elephant penis or something. No simple gold bands for them! I wish no ill will on anyone specific's fingers, but what's clearly coming is a tragic incident whereby Cousins' Costanza-like career as a hand model is ruined by getting his ring finger trapped in Terrelle Suggs's facemask and being dragged around the field like Leo DiCaprio in The Revenant.

OK, yeah, that ring is huge. Photo by Steve Flynn-USA TODAY Sports

Pat: Come December 15th, weed will be legal in Massachusetts where you live. Will you partake?

I like where this mailbag is heading, random-question-wise. Pretty soon I'll be Larry King just firing off pearls: "For my money, it doesn't get any better than Melba toast!" I did vote for legalization, though I think the last time I smoked weed or anything else I was 24 and got drunk and stoned and puked my guts out. But actually, no, the main reason I won't indulge is I apparently have the lungs of a Romantic consumptive. I choke like I'm dying if I'm within a quarter-mile of an unlit pack of cigarettes. People sometimes light me cigars and say, "Don't worry, you don't inhale," and I don't, and I hack out a lung anyway. Maybe somebody will bake me some nice brownies.

SECguy: How can we acquire the schedule for when each player is cycling on and off PEDs? Pretty helpful info, I'd imagine.

I like it. It's the next phase of fantasy football analysis. "Chris, I've been secretly following Clay Matthews around town with a pH stick, waiting to 'accidentally' bump into him when he stands in front of a urinal, to try and get a few splashes of pee. Sources tell me he killed and ate a raw reindeer last night, so he there's speculation he's at the end of his cycle…."

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