What You Need to Know About the Rio Olympics: The VICE Sports Guide

There aren't many positive aspects to the ritualistic dooming and glooming that leads up to every Olympics, but one is that, once the Games get going, everything pretty much hums along. The basic facts of life in Rio, and Brazil in general, will still be true. The bay will still be shit. People will still get mugged, some violently, others not. Some people will die in Rio over the next three weeks, but you'll only hear about it if they are in some way, shape, or form associated with the Olympic movement. Traffic will be very bad, and public transportation will be unreliable.

The opening ceremonies will make you wonder what the fuck you just watched. We'll momentarily lose ourselves in the athletic genius of a select few, awestruck at their ability to displace water more rapidly than all other members of their species, or to throw a spear very far but at nothing and no one, because we are a loving species now despite all evidence to the contrary. Usain Bolt will run faster than any other human and most other mammals. No one will watch equestrian or shot put. More than one person will tune into hammer throwing and be very confused when they don't see any hammers. A terrible tragedy in archery will result in a jammed thumb. The marathon winners will have a mile pace twice as fast as the quickest mile you've ever run, which will make you feel fat, but luckily the next commercial break will be for McDonald's and Coca Cola. It'll be—NBC will breathlessly tell you how great it all is, how great we all are, how great America is, and you'll believe it despite all evidence to the contrary, because for a brief moment it is great, in a specific kind of nauseatingly awful way.

—Aaron Gordon, VICE Sports staff writer and Olympics correspondent

• The dirty water. There isn't much else to say at this point: the water in Guanabara Bay is very, very dirtybecause the water there has been dirty for a very long time. In their bid for the Olympics, Rio's organizing committee promised to clean it up. They did not. We'll see how much this impacts the competitions, but their broken promise is about far more than whether sailors have to keep their mouths closed.
• The Zika excuse. If there was any sport that needed its stars to show up, it was golf, one of two new events to the Olympic program this year (rugby is the other). But the world's top four players have opted to stay home, citing Zika fears. Those fears have widely been dismissed as a convenient excuse; almost all female golfers eligible to participate will play, and it is winter in Rio so mosquitos are far less active. Meanwhile, in Florida, where many golfers have homes, Zika is just ramping up.
• The Russians. As you might have heard, Russia had a little problem with doping, so there won't be any Russians competing in track and field or weightlifting. More than 110 athletes have been banned as a result of an investigation that revealed a state-sponsored doping program. More than 300 Russian athletes are still expected to participate. Their performances will be heavily scrutinized.
• The Rio infrastructure. From the shoddy construction on the legacy bike lanethat killed two people, to the unfinished Olympic villages and the damaged sailing ramp, nobody seems to have much faith in the construction around the Rio Games. Here's hoping a stadium doesn't collapse with people inside.
• The refugee team. For the first time in Olympics history, a refugee team will compete in three events: athletics, judo, and swimming. Ten athletes from Syria, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and South Sudan will compete under the Olympic flag.

• Usain Bolt. He is the fastest man in the world. You should probably watch him.
• Michael Phelps. No matter how Phelps performs in Rio, he will retire as the most decorated Olympian of all time, with 22 medals and counting. He is 31 years old, and this will be his last Olympics in the pool. In Rio, Phelps will be participating in the 100- and 200-meter butterfly, and the 200-meter medley. Enjoy him while you can.
• Simone Biles. After winning three straight gymnastics world championships, this is Biles's first Olympics. She's the overwhelming favorite to win the gold medal in the all-around.
• Katie Ledecky. It's easy to forget Ledecky is only 19 years old. She is already one of the most accomplished American swimmers ever, with 11 world records and 15 gold medals at major international competitions. She will be competing in three individual races and one relay.
• Meb Keflezighi (marathon) and Bernard Lagat (track). If you want to feel bad about yourself, Team USA has two distance runners over 40 years old. Meb Keflezighi, 41, won silver at the Athens 2004 marathon and came in fourth in London. Bernard Lagat has a silver and a bronze from Sydney and Athens, respectively, in the 5000 meters.
• USA Women's 8 Rowing: Has won ten consecutive world titles. Ten.
• Leila, Liina, and Lily Luik. The three L's are triplets from Estonia, all competing in the women's marathon. They are thought to be the first set of identical triplets competing against each other in Olympics history.
• Caster Semenya. The favorite to win the women's 800-meter race, Semenya was only allowed to compete after the Court of Arbitration of Sport overturned a maximum testosterone level for females set by the IAAF. Her performance will surely spark a new round of debates about gender-testing athletes.
• Kim Rhode. Shooting doesn't get a lot of love in the Olympics, but Rhode is vying for her sixth medal—and fourth gold—in six Olympics.
• Yusra Mardini. A 17-year-old Syrian swimmer competing under the refugee team, Mardini and her sister kicked a small inflatable boat filled with a few dozen refugees for several hours to get from Turkey to Greece. She will be competing in the women's 100-meter freestyle and 100-meter butterfly.

Team USA's 263 men and 292 women come from 46 states; there are also two native-born Kenyans and one athlete from the US Virgin Islands. Check out the map below to see where everyone is from.

Our friends over at Munchies have put together a few of their recent articles related to Brazilian food and drink. So if you're planning to have a Brazilian-themed Olympic party, try the Prata Punch.

For the violet syrup:
1 cup granulated sugar
2 ounces Créme de Violette

For the cocktail:
2 ounces Avuá Prata Cachaça
1 ounce fresh strawberry purée, plus slices for garnish
3/4 ounces fresh lemon juice, plus slices for garnish
3/4 ounces violet syrup
Sparkling wine, to serve
Bachelor buttons, for garnish (optional)

1. Make the violet syrup: In a small saucepan, dissolve the sugar in 8 ounces (250 ml) water over medium-high heat. Let cool, then stir in the Créme de Violette.

2. Make the cocktail: Combine the Avuá Prata Cachaça, strawberry purée, lemon juice, and violet syrup in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously, then strain into a rocks glass filled with ice. Top with sparkling wine and garnish with strawberry and lemon slices and the bachelor buttons (if using).

You can also read about how Rio fell in love with bagels, the Brazilian cocktail made with marijuana, the Brazilian guy who puts weird stuff on pizza, and watch the Franks' trip to Brazil.

Brazilian officials will rely on the Center for Integrated Command and Control (CICC) and the Operations Center in Rio (COR) to help keep people safe during the Games. The CICC is the hub where police and military officials can view images from the nearly 3,200 mobile and surveillance cameras that are spread throughout Rio. Additionally, the COR provides data to police from 560 cameras. Recently, Motherboard wrote about how the Olympics are turning Rio into a military state, to the dismay of many in Brazil:

Some of these concerns are merited. After all, no one can deny that the Olympics are a tempting target, and recently a competitor on Brazil's Olympic shooting team was shot in the head by gang members who staged a fake police roadblock in Rio. But some of the concern is undoubtedly hyped up, especially considering that the focus for much of Brazilian law enforcement when it comes to mega-event security is the threat of "violent street protests."

Motherboard adds:

Lawmakers have used Brazil's recent series of mega-events to justify huge investments in security technology. But the tools the police and military now possess aren't temporary. They are lasting legacies. And the combination of this technology, a new hawkish government, and ongoing human rights abuses by the military and law enforcement in Brazil spells disaster.

Also, check out Motherboard's story on how Rio 2016 will be secured in the cloud.

Athletes in 45 different events will be competing in 32 different venues across Rio, plus five soccer host cities. Click on the map to see where each competition will be held.

Find all of VICE Sports' Olympic coverage here.