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Sports

Baby-Holding Fan Flexes Paternal Prowess, Catches Homer Barehanded

Evolutionarily speaking, this guy is dope as fuck.

Masculinity is really hitting its reductionist stride nowadays. You have your man buns, which exhibit a male's primal follicle fortitude. Then you have the Dad-bod phenomenon, which proves that, evolutionarily-speaking, this guy has enough muscle to prove he's hunted and can pack on a few layers for hibernation. And then there's the near-yearly occurrence of the baby-holding baseball catch. It's practically a primeval, caveman-like rite of passage at this point.

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In Arizona's game against Pittsburgh, D-back Monsieur "Shia LaBeouf" Wellington Castillo mashed some taters just over the wall, and this Pirates fan reached up his meaty, meaty, proto-masculine hand and caught Castillo's homer to protect this baby. It's just like in the wild—imagine a boulder falling from a mountain top onto your stick village and is about to crush your young. Well this guy caught said boulder and would be immediately deemed alpha male. Next time, this guy will show up with two babies in hand—he's just that evolutionarily predisposed to making, and protecting, babies. Good on you, sir.