PHOTOGRAPHER: BEN RAYNER

STYLIST: LOLA OKUYIGA

Stylist Assistant: Elizabeth Johnson, Casting: Kylie Griffiths

This look is called “Freshers’ Dick Droop Remedy” and we can guarantee that it has a 100 percent success rate.

Rae wears glasses by Linda Farrow, blouse by Ben Sherman, watch by Casio and culottes by Lacoste

The Jonathan Creek-meets-Terry Richardson vibe has been a long time coming but it's finally arrived and, fingers crossed, it won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

Simon wears glasses by Linda Farrow Vintage, watch by Swatch, shirt by Penguin, cardigan by Ben Sherman and trousers by Farah

These guys are a dime a dozen at any bar that has the first Korn record on the jukebox and Jägerbombs on tap. The Cure t-shirt is just for show – he secretly hankers after getting hot under the collar with Brian Molko (the early years).

Jamie wears hat by New Era, shirt by Edwin, model’s own t-shirt, belt by Beyond Retro and jeans by Lee

Fuck knows why posh girls don't get out of their pyjamas for lectures, meals or even nights out. Must be something to do with good breeding, but we're not complaining.

Dora wears hat by New Era, t-shirt by Playboy at Topman, watch by G-Shock and trousers by Stussy

The Twilight-meets-college look is pretty big right now – and the more crushed the velvet the better. God knows what all these pallid divas will be wearing come summer.

Carlotta wears earrings by Elizabeth Duke at Argos, belt (worn as choker) and dress by Topshop, and knuckleduster by Vivienne Westwood

These guys are a mainstay, year in, year out. A Fred and trilby is bound to crop up on your course. Four years ago he would have been into the Dead 60s. Now it's the Shitty Limits and Hygiene.

Simon wears hat by Topman, polo shirt by Fred Perry, jeans by Diesel and ring by Elizabeth Duke at Argos