REVERSE-SUCCESS WARNING

Generally the homeless and destitute--even at their drunkest and least fighty--induce strong feelings of "Holy shit my life is going good," and "I'm kind of killing it right now" with minor traces of "There but for the grace of etc…" They're like human lighthouses, and you can either read them as guilt-racking warnings of what's in store if you fuck up too many times, or as a shining thumb's up beacon that mellowly intones "Hey, you're doing fine" over the sound of the Raspberries' "Go All the Way." I choose the optimist's approach. Every so often, however, you catch one of these lighthouses on your doorstep, completely tanked and leafing through

Hustler

at 9 in the morning and you're like, "Wait a second, what the fuck am I doing on this boat to begin with?"