In the wake of President Donald Trump offering Clemson a broke-ass buffet of fast food like a sixth grade birthday party, the football team has received more than a couple offers for meals befitting champions. And it sounds like they should probably go for them.
Trump's all too metaphorical display of heat-lamped meat slabs on gilded platters sparked some outrage from various people (as well as some sparse praise) about the person with the highest position in our country neglecting to properly host one of the few sports teams that actually will accept an invite to the White House. But nobody seemed to own Trump for his cheap-ass buffoonery quite like Clemson's offensive tackle Jackson Carman:
Anyway, gripes like Carman's weren't lost on deaf ears, as a litany celebrities thought they could do Trump better. Starting with former New York Giant and current talk show host Michael Strahan. Apparently, the man is springing for lobster for the guys:
Mind you, this is a pack of many large adult sons we're talking about. Your typical one lobster per person setup might not suffice. Strahan better hope he gets a solid discount from Maine.
Then there was an offer from Chicago's highest-rated restaurant Alinea, the city's only three Michelin star establishment. And for restaurant owner Nick Kokonas, it's not about sports at all. Just an attempt to rewrite a culinary catastrophe:
According to Eater, Kokonas wants to give the team a tour of all four of his restaurants, including The Office, Next, Roister, and finishing at Alinea, where meals go for upwards of $500 per head. So, you know, factor in about a hundred-ish players, and, welp.
It wasn't just people in the football or food world who were putting up an offer for the players, but also the rap world. Migos member Quavo stepped up to offer something better than Trump's spread:
Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence, who called the White House visit "awesome," also seems to be on board with this counter-offer:
Listen, food clearly proved itself to be political. But for a bunch of large boys who just won a championship and are expending huge amounts of calories? Get fed.