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It's Friday, January 11, and It Turns Out 'Tapas and Cocaine' Isn't a Healthy Diet

Plus, watch a man shotgun a bunch of Cincinnati chili, and decide for yourself whether s'mores wings should be a thing.

by Hannah Keyser
Jan 11 2019, 4:18pm

Photos: Getty Images / Composite by MUNCHIES Staff

Welcome to Off-Menu, where we'll be rounding up all the food news and food-adjacent internet ephemera that delighted, fascinated, or infuriated us this morning.

News

  • In response to a Coworker.org petition (signed by 3,783 people as of this writing) and an October story about Seattle employees who reported regularly encountering hypodermic needles on the job, Starbucks is installing sharps boxes for secure disposal of needles and syringes in certain high-risk bathrooms. Business Insider spoke to several anonymous Starbucks employees who shared their fears and photos of the potentially dangerous messes they've had to clean up, especially since the coffee chain instituted an open-bathroom policy. This is an important move to protect employees from the reality of the opioid epidemic, but it's also a welcome public service for anyone who might have to self-administer any type of shot away from the convenience of their home.
  • If you break into a police station to steal a police officer's chicken dinner and then leave your wallet on the police officer's desk then you are, I'm sorry, asking for it (it being arrest).
  • We've reached out to Pluckers Wing Bar to ask if their s'mores chicken wings are real or just an attempt to troll those of us with a slightly more delicate palate, and will update if we hear back. Until then, assuming they are real: Would you?
  • About a month ago, a Cincinnati Reds fan dared himself to shotgun three cans of Skyline Chili in the event that the Reds were able to unload Homer Bailey, who was owed $48 million over the next two seasons.

His tweet did not go viral; it does not seem that the Reds factored it into their eventual decision to ship Bailey to the Dodgers just before Christmas. And yet, here is a man (wearing basketball shorts in late December) shotgunning three cans of Skyline Chili, just like no one asked him to.

Ben, buddy, if you want to eat what is certainly something like six servings of Skyline chili in one straight shot, just do it. No need to concoct an elaborate backstory to "force" yourself into it.

Not News

An Instagram influencer who admitted she stayed thin on a diet of cocaine, cigarettes, black coffee, and tapas clearly has a different tapas-ordering strategy than I do.

Something Nice

This entire Twitter account dedicated to 70s party foods.

Exhibit A.

Exhibit B.

Exhibit C.

Backorder This Bucket

Costco screenshot
Screenshot via Costco.com

I love every single one of you probable preppers who caused Costco to sell out of its 27-pound, 20-year-shelf-life Chef’s Banquet Macaroni and Cheese Storage Bucket less than 24 hours after People magazine wrote about it.