It's Friday, January 11, and It Turns Out 'Tapas and Cocaine' Isn't a Healthy Diet

Welcome to Off-Menu, where we'll be rounding up all the food news and food-adjacent internet ephemera that delighted, fascinated, or infuriated us this morning.

His tweet did not go viral; it does not seem that the Reds factored it into their eventual decision to ship Bailey to the Dodgers just before Christmas. And yet, here is a man (wearing basketball shorts in late December) shotgunning three cans of Skyline Chili, just like no one asked him to.

Ben, buddy, if you want to eat what is certainly something like six servings of Skyline chili in one straight shot, just do it. No need to concoct an elaborate backstory to "force" yourself into it.

An Instagram influencer who admitted she stayed thin on a diet of cocaine, cigarettes, black coffee, and tapas clearly has a different tapas-ordering strategy than I do.

This entire Twitter account dedicated to 70s party foods.

Exhibit A.

Exhibit B.

Exhibit C.

I love every single one of you probable preppers who caused Costco to sell out of its 27-pound, 20-year-shelf-life Chef’s Banquet Macaroni and Cheese Storage Bucket less than 24 hours after People magazine wrote about it.