We might be nearing 2020, but it's like the 90s never ended: puka shells adorn the necks of cool teens yet again, sneakers are so chunky they put Baby Spice to shame, and the new Saved by the Bell is slated to hit screens next year. Time is the flattest circle, as Nietszche once said and we've referenced many times before, and the loop of reboots is endless.
Cardi B in a reboot of The Nanny: promising. Rider Strong's return to stardom? Yes, please. A Rugrats reboot? Sure. Even the rise of lipgloss is fine. But another 90s star is trying to edge back into the spotlight, one we hadn't thought of in years, and if we're honest, never really needed to see ever again (no, not JNCO jeans, which are unfortunately back). That's Tommy Lee's dick.
In 1995, an electrician working on the mansion shared by the Mötley Crüe drummer and Baywatch star Pamela Anderson stole the couple's safe. In it were guns, jewelry, and a sex tape. The latter leaked, becoming the world's "most infamous sex tape" according to Rolling Stone and cementing Tommy Lee's penis as one of the most legendary celebrity dicks (#8 out of 20, by Jezebel's judgment).
But the dick might be back, having made an appearance on Lee's Instagram on Wednesday, per a report from Page Six. In a screenshot obtained by Page Six, a penis (presumably Lee's) appears next to the face of his wife, Brittany Furlan Lee, presented with the caption: "These new Instagram filters are finally gettin wood … I mean G👀D!!!!!! 🙌🏼 they finally gave me my own filter!" A representative for Lee told Page Six, "All I know is it's not his [penis]," adding that it was a "filter."
After Page Six ran its original post, Lee's representative doubled down on the filter story by not only sending a picture of herself with "the same penis in front of her face," but also allegedly placing it atop the Facebook profile picture of the Page Six writer and sending that to the publication. "Wow I’m in NY and Tommy is in CA. His penis must be very long to travel that distance," she wrote, and hey, it is said to be quite large.
While we're skeptical that a Tommy Lee penis filter will be coming soon to an Instagram near you, nestled next to the puppy face and the sparkly glitter, we are sure of one thing: The dick is one 90s icon that didn't need a reboot in this day and age.