Seven years ago, the Texas Rangers started selling The Boomstick, a two-foot long chili-cheese hot dog that sold for $26 at the concession stands at Globe Life Park in Arlington. A couple of years later, the team debuted the Totally ROSSome Nachos, a $17 combination of shredded meat, tortilla chips, white queso, and Nacho Cheese Doritos that was sold in a massive plastic batting helmet. The nachos were named for relief pitcher Robbie Ross, and when he was eventually traded to the Boston Red Sox, they lopped his name off—they're Totally Awesome now—but kept the chips and the cheese and that huge plastic helmet.
Now if we'd just paid close to 20 bucks for a giant pile of meat and Doritos, we'd be wrapping one forearm protectively around the helmet, staring aggressively at strangers, and eating the entire thing like we'd just escaped from prison and had no idea whether we'd ever get another chance to eat trash out of a plastic hat. But a guy who attended the Rangers game on Sunday obviously had different ideas, and decided that the best way to enjoy his expensive-ass nachos was by using them to catch a foul ball.
In this Instagram video shared by Major League Baseball's Cut 4, a bald dude in a personalized Rangers jersey sees a foul heading into the stands, leans over the fans sitting in front of him, and lets the ball land in the middle of his nacho helmet. He then turns around to show off, both unnecessarily triumphant and completely oblivious to the fact that he just covered a stranger with nacho cheese and broken tortilla bits.
The man in the pale blue polo didn't look thrilled at the prospect of spending several innings wiping nacho cheese off the back of his neck, but on the other hand, he just got like $10 worth of chips for free.
The Rangers aren't the only baseball team that sells overpriced nachos in oversized helmets (USA! USA! USA!), so this guy probably wasn't the first person to catch a ball in his. Earlier this season, Andrew Belleson, the PA announcer at Wrigley Field, asked Chicago Cubs fans what they'd do if they were in a similar situation.
"You’re heading back to your seat [...] with a fresh nacho helmet in one hand & a beer in the other. A $30 meal," he tweeted. "As you near your seat, a foul ball makes its way directly towards you in the aisle. Directly. What’s your move?" (The responses were unsurprisingly mixed, but we're siding with anyone whose first instinct is to protect the nachos—and we're also avoiding eye contact with the guy who said he'd "take one on the chest.")
Unless you're trying to catch a home run during the postseason or you're going for a foul hit by the ghost of Jackie Robinson while he was sitting on Roberto Clemente's shoulders, just let it go. Or let a kid try to catch it. Or just let somebody else wreck their own pricey nacho helmet and ruin a stranger's shirt. It's not worth it.