No one can say that Jarvis Landry doesn't give a fuck. Or a shit, really.
HBO's Hard Knocks series is back and features the Cleveland Browns this season, so things are about as bleak as they can get with Cleveland coming off an 0-16 season, and a 1-16 season before that. But there is hope. A new young quarterback that everyone seems to love, a shitload of other young talent from the nine draft picks they had last April, and some wheeling and dealing.
Which brings us to Landry, who the Browns traded the Miami Dolphins a fourth- and seventh-round draft pick for last April. Landry was shown trying to change the culture in Cleveland and getting fired up at his teammates for too many people sitting out during practice:
You know, it's the off-season, so stats don't really count. But let's check out some of Landry's numbers from his blue streak, huh?
- Fucks: 23
- Shits: 9
- Bitches: 1 (x50?)
That's approximately 14 fucks per minute—not bad. Sure, the fucks come at you fast, but let's really give some credit to the "bitch," because when it arrives, it really hits hard. (Hence the x50 multiplier.) Apparently, HBO is already ranking this speech in their top five—whatever that means:
Adding to the fireworks is that Hue Jackson (he of the 1-31 record as Browns head coach) is apparently experiencing a near-mutiny about the exact problem Landry is addressing. It seems that Jackson has been resting his veterans during training camp to keep them fresh for the whole season and not just Landry, but Browns assistant coaches, including Human Whitesnake video Todd Haley, are pushing back against the policy. Prompting Jackson to have to assert, "I get to drive the bus."
God, and this is just episode one! Bust out the popcorn—this is going to be a ride.