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A New Jersey Squirrel Is Waging War on Christmas

A bushy-tailed beast has been chewing through Christmas lights and terrorizing a local town.

by River Donaghey
Dec 4 2017, 6:44pm

Photos via Sea Girt Police Department.

On Friday, the town of Sea Girt, New Jersey, was forced to enjoy its annual tree-lighting ceremony plagued with the knowledge that an anonymous Grinch lurked within its midst. Earlier that week, the local cops had discovered that a mysterious vandal had made deliberate cuts in the string of lights adorning the town Christmas display, nearly sabotaging the yearly holiday event.

Sea Girt police captain Justin Macko was astonished by the wire-cutting, calling it "probably the first vandalism [the town's] had in ten years."

"There's several cuts throughout everything if we lay them all out," Macko told NBC 4 on Thursday. "It tells me they definitely wanted to do it and they want to accomplish their goal of making sure the lights don't work."

Some town residents told NBC 4 that they figured a few dastardly youths were sneaking around and snipping the strands to get their jollies off or whatever—but now, thanks to a photo snapped Saturday morning, the truth has emerged.

In the incriminating photo, a bushy-tailed Scrooge can be seen caught in the act of gnawing on a row of Christmas lights, either in hopes of dashing the town's desire for holiday cheer or just because its tiny squirrel brain mistook the bulbs for a delicious, acorn-shaped snack.

The squirrel is still at large, but NBC 4 promises that the area is now "under constant surveillance," just in case the rodent comes back for another gnaw.

Broken lights or no, Sea Girt should count itself lucky that the squirrel is only interested in wiring, since things can go pretty bad once squirrels get a taste for blood.