What VICE Readers Bought This Month: Bug Zappers and Penis Pumps

We know it’s already mid-week, but are you wishing it were still Memorial Day weekend? (Yeah, us too). Even if we’re technically a few weeks away from Mother Nature’s definition of summer (where are my Summer Solstice-heads at?!), it’s hard not to come off the three-day weekend feeling like we’d rather be outside in the sunshine (or at least lazing around  basking in the comfort of our A/C unit) and enjoying all the sweet stuff we scored during a month of retail therapy—including Masturbation May deals and another year’s massive slate of Memorial Day sales. Welcome back, layabouts: It’s time for our monthly roundup of what VICE readers bought this month!

Last month, readers were cleaning up and getting comfy, snagging the VICE-approved Scrub Daddy Damp Duster and spooning their photorealistic fried chicken pillow in a pair of Lululemon Commission Pants (the brand’s men’s stuff rocks, OK?). This month, y’all pumped it up in more ways than one, adding everything from bang-for-your-buck Sony earbuds to, well… literal penis pumps to your carts. Read on for more of the top products VICE readers bought in May 2023.

You already know that wired headphones are back and better than ever, but no one said you had to spend a fortune on them (or try to dig out the pair that came with your phone six iPhones ago). VICE staff writer Nicolette Accardi swears by her pair of wired Sony earbuds—the Sony MDREX15LP Earbuds, to be specific—as an AirPod alternative that deliver high-quality sound at a staggering $10 price tag. Don’t let their pocket-friendly price fool you though: Given that—according to Accardi—they’re still pumping out tunes with surprisingly solid quality even after a decade of use, it’s fair to say that these headphones are well-worth the (very small) investment.

There’s nothing wrong with needing help getting a little harder, better, faster and stronger. After our roundup of well-reviewed penis pumps hit the airwaves, this electric vacuum pump—known as the “Power Up”—shot into several shopping carts. This pump’s popularity only makes sense, given its 4.8-star average rating, including reviews that claim, “It works really well, and the suction this pump produces increases girth and length to an unbelievable size.” 

Maybe it’s a classic Pavlovian response, but the hotter it gets, the more we’re craving ice cream. But who has time to chase down the Mister Softee truck or the money to spend a small fortune on those $9 artisanal pints at the bodega? If your sweet tooth is starting to act up in the summer heat, make like VICE readers and give the Ninja Creami a shot on your kitchen countertop. Already viral on TikTok, the Creami’s proprietary “Creamify Technology” and its ability to transform milks, juices, protein shakes, (or any other liquid) into ice cream, gelato, sorbet, milkshakes, and smoothie bowls—all at the touch of a button—made it an instant hit with our readers . Whether you’re using it as a tool to help you bulk up your beach bod with protein soft-serve or you plan to spend the summer making ice cream on-demand, you can’t sleep on the Ninja Creami.

While May is best known for holidays like Mother’s Day and Memorial Day, the entire month has recently become a month-long celebration of masturbation, with several sexual wellness and adult toy retailers offering deals across a variety of toys and gear for helping you (or a partner) get off in honor of “Masturbation May.” Masturbation May deals included major markdowns on some of the best vibrators in the business—including PinkCherry’s beloved Rose Vibrator. Similar to a rose vibrator VICE writer Mary Frances Knapp reviewed earlier this year, Pinkcherry’s Rose Vibrator uses gentle air-pressure technology and has all the maneuverability and pocket-sized portability you’d look for in a suction toy (oh, and did we mention it’s still on sale for less than $25?)

Summer unequivocally rocks (and make no mistake—we’re glad it’s here), but the sad reality is that the warmer weather means we’re also dealing with the worst the world of insects has to offer. Sure, you’re planning on spending more time hosting friends outside over the next couple months, but no one wants to add mosquitos as their plus one. While you could slather yourself in bug spray and hope that the chemicals don’t choke you out in the process, VICE readers decided to “shop smarter” and scooped up a rechargeable bug zapper to keep the mosquitos at bay. This zapper is one helluva bug bouncer, thanks to its indoor-outdoor design and use of (according to the brand, highly alluring) UV wavelength light. As one five-star reviewer wrote, “This is the solution for all those times you find yourself being pestered by something so small that becomes the source of so much frustration.”

We all want to live like we’re the actual owners of an Aman Resort-level property, especially when it comes to enjoying the summer al fresco while sitting a mere arms-length away from your personal bar cart. But what can you do if you—like us—lack any real outdoor space of your own? One solution is to get crafty with the seating, and nothing says “summer” quite like hopping into a hammock. VICE readers snapped up this space-saving hammock chair, which comes with all the materials anyone would need to hang this on your patio, apartment balcony, or A/C endowed bedroom. With the hammock still marked down at 44% off, this is one piece readers will be happy they picked up before summer really gets into full swing.

Speaking of sprucing up your space, West Elm’s blockbuster Memorial Day sale surfaced plenty of deals and steals at one of our readers’ favorite retailers. A standout included a European flax linen duvet cover and sham set, which—thanks to linen’s natural cooling qualities—is perfect for those who sleep like a Hot Pocket in a microwave tend to run hot overnight.

SSENSE’s latest sale was another highlight over the Memorial Day weekend, with the high fashion retailer offering up big savings on some of the most exclusive brands in the game. Despite the store’s reputation for cutting-edge fashion, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stock the classics on its digital shelves. Case in point, Levi’s iconic straight-leg 501 jeans. With multiple sizes of the Americana staple still sitting on SSENSE’s shelves for 52% off, it’s an incredible time to pick up a pair of pants you’ll probably still be wearing this time next year.

Trying to live life like American Psycho’sPatrick Bateman is probably not great for your mental health (or the safety of those around you), but even we can admit that he knows how to keep himself in peak physical condition. Writer Nicolette Accardi tried out Bateman’s infamous morning routine, which includes everything from a cooling gel mask to an anti-aging eye cream. Readers gravitated to the peel-off face mask (which, honestly, makes sense, given that it’s the most viscerally memorable part of Bateman’s routine in the movie). We can’t say you’ll look anything like Christian Bale after using it, but according to Accardi, “This gel mask is cooling, hydrating, moisturizing, and gentle enough for everyday use to rid your pores of impurities; the only thing that makes it un-Bateman-worthy is how affordable it is.”

Ah, another hit from Masturbation May. One of the most popular products we highlighted was this Lovehoney cock ring that’s well… a lot more than just a cock ring. Fully rechargeable, this double cock ring targets both the penis and the balls, while designed with a textured clitoral stimulator on top. Talk about bang for your buck.

As writer Adam Rothbarth pointed out in his review of Japan: The Vegetarian Cookbook, the nation’s cuisine is a lot more nuanced and expansive than just sushi, ramen, and yakitori. Sure, that probably sounds obvious to even the most casual foodie, but as author Nancy Singleton Hachisu points out in her book, even well-traveled food fans often overlook Japan’s extensive history with vegetarian cuisine. Part of Phaidon’s cookbook series and a spiritual sequel to Japan: The Cookbook, Japan: The Vegetarian Cookbook opens up a new perspective on not just Japanese cooking techniques and regional ingredients, but on the nation’s own unique cultural relationship with vegetables.

We’ll meet you by the bar cart.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.