Is Bernie Sanders a Fan of Psychedelic Trance Pioneer Shpongle?

Probably.

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Apr 1 2016, 4:40pm

Photo by author.

In case you missed it, we are no longer THUMP—a website dedicated to the latest and greatest in dance music culture—but President Advisor, a fully legitimate outlet for news about the upcoming presidential election. After only operating as such for around 90 minutes, we've already come across some rather interesting news pertaining both to 2016 Presidential hopeful, Bernie Sanders, as well as Simon Posford—better known as Sphongle, the psychedelic trance pioneer known for songs like "Divine Moments of Truth" and "My Head Feels Like A Frisbee." Just this morning, Posford took to his official Facebook page to share news that he's reportedly been commissioned to produce a new track for Sanders' campaign.


As esteemed political analysts for already nearly two hours, we've come to a number of conclusions about what this interesting announcement might suggest.

1. Sanders is in dire need of the Wookie vote.

Wookies, the festival-attending subculture of stinky uber-hippies, are an interesting demographic in that they're both easy to sway politically, but also unpredictable, and even potentially dangerous. Often operating in alternative festival hotbeds like Upstate New York, rural Michigan, certain Everglade sub-districts in Southern Florida, as well as the entire region of Northern California, Wookies are a outspoken proponent for legal drug use, a subject Sanders has been mostly in favor of, especially in the sector of marijuana. In siding with Sphongle's mind-bending tones, Sanders could potentially come off as not just a hippie (we knew that already) but one who will support the wookie's quest for limitless stonerdom. Sanders has been mostly quiet about his opinions on LSD and psilocybin, though we've heard rumors he's this guy's grandfather.

2. Sanders is planning to institute ayahuasca into international summits.

Ayahuasca, the entheogenic brew known to give people powerful visions, unadulterated understanding of one's self, as well a new appreciation of vomit, is a tonic often associated with psy-trance. With his newfound connection with the genre, it's possible that Sanders is gearing up to announce plans, if elected, to institute ayahuasca ceremonies into international peace-talks and maybe even UN meetings. If taken collectively, the drug just might withhold the power for long-time international enemies to see eye to eye, or at least each other's third eye.

3. Sanders really wants a Burning Man ticket...

So much FOMO.

4. ...So he can be a "Burner of the people."

Sanders' key opponent, Hillary Clinton, would more likely be the kind of attendee to fly in on a private jet. Bernie though, always a man of the people, would probably spend his time riding around in a mutant art car—furthering his "cool" appeal to young voters. Gaining possible inspiration from the iconic chanting of albums like Ineffable Mysteries From Shpongleland, Sanders might even take a few tabs and partake in some foam-soaked group masturbation party. Hillary, a clear would be bougie-burner would never be able to pull that off.

5. Bernie simply had an acid flashback and this whole thing was probably a mistake.

Can't let your wife have all the fun Bern.


This story is breaking and will be updated periodically. David Garber is reporting cold hard news on Twitter