It's a little known fact that Olympic athletes often hold down other jobs while training in their various fields. Olympians are basically a bit like your dad with his model airplanes—people who've dedicated so many hours to their hobby they've become masters of their art. Of course this isn't true of the big dogs—Mo Farah for example is making more than enough money from that Quorn cosign he bagged—but for many the prospect of being a "professional athlete" is something of a lofty ambition. You might want to be the world's greatest archer, but you need some other strings to your bow.
Which might explain the curious case of Olympic gold medalist Chris Mears' secret double life as an EDM producer and DJ.
In case you missed it, because it probably happened in the middle of the night, Chris Mears won Britain's first ever diving gold, alongside Jack Laugher in the men's synchronized three-meter springboard final.
That's impressive. As I discovered on a recent holiday—the moment my horizontal torso slapped on the surface of the Adriatic sea like a rump steak on a chopping board—diving is actually quite difficult. Yet, what's even hard than that? Bangers, that's what. Which is what makes this even more impressive.
Well, sort of impressive. That's right, in his spare time, Chris Mears makes that sort of vaguely washy, new-age aspirational EDM that features lyrics like "I can be your warmth on the coldest night". The track is called "Mexico" and seems to be telling the sort of love story that could only be told by someone who gets to travel the world loads. He's even spoken to Billboard about his DJ career. Sifting through his back catalogue there's plenty more in the way of big drops into the deep end. Check out this little screamer he put together to celebrate becoming a Commonwealth champion.
Now, it's appropriate to be a little bit torn here. Yes, technically, the music is absolutely terrible. The worst sort of twee-DM: "I can be your shining star" platitudes slung out over goal compilation synth stabs. But then again, the guy just won a gold medal. Not only that but back in 2009 he was given a 5 percent chance of survival following a ruptured spleen which might, sort of, excuse the you-only-live-once-so-lets-Snapchat-sunsets vibe of the whole thing.
Perhaps Mears marks the development of a new type of hipster athlete in the post-EDM age. He's got the body of a demi-God, already tours the world like a DJ, and will have no problem posting inspirational quotes on Instagram every morning. The type of DJ who is just as likely to bring out a topless calendar as he is a mix. All that said, I haven't exercised since 2012 and the only piece of music I've ever composed was a song in year nine and it was called "You're So Pretty...Oh" and I got beat up at lunch after performing it.
So perhaps let's agree to give Chris Mears terrible music career the all clear. After all, it's been next to impossible to be proud of any Brits recently, so probably best not to shit on this rare opportunity simply because he makes music. Terrible, terrible, terrible, music.