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Toronto Mayor Writes Salty Letter to CBS after Raptors Get Left off NBA Title Poll

Elected officials just can't help themselves from messing everything up.

Cool poll, @CBSSports. (via @WheelerTSN) pic.twitter.com/dxwGdtQ6EO
— J.E. Skeets (@jeskeets) May 17, 2016

CBS Sports ran a poll over the weekend asking fans to vote on who they thought would win the NBA Championship this year. Their choices were, Cleveland, Golden State, Oklahoma City, and "other." The good people of Toronto took this as personal slight because the Raptors actually won their garbage series against the Miami Heat and they should have been the fourth entry.

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For what it's worth, CBS says it wasn't intentional, they just simply posted the poll before Game 7 wrapped up in Toronto, and the poll has since been updated to include Toronto.

We posted it before Game 7! Raptors/Heat wouldn't fit! We love you, Canada! https://t.co/FStrHVn0pU
— CBS Sports NBA (@CBSSportsNBA) May 17, 2016

Presumably they didn't want to go with "TOR/MIA"—which is the same amount of characters as "Thunder" and fewer characters than both "Cavaliers" and "Warriors"—for reasons of symmetry. But that doesn't matter, because this is silly and stupid and it just got a whole lot sillier and stupiderer.

The honorable and prestigious office of the Mayor of Toronto has responded to the blatant disrespect from an American sports website. Picking up where his predecessor left off, John Tory earned the respect of the world with this letter to Sean McManus, the chairman of CBS Sports.

As Mayor of "Other" I felt the need to talk to @CBSSports about their poll. #WetheOther pic.twitter.com/CYRqOljXHc
— John Tory (@JohnTory) May 17, 2016

I swear to God, I wish we could make Donald Trump president of Cleveland—for a number of really good reasons, like, say: "if he's got to be President, let him run that landfill on the shores of the Erie"—just so these two could get into an increasingly sophomoric war of words over how many games it will take the Cavaliers to beat the Raptors.

This letter hits all the "I'm not even mad, I actually think this funny" notes. John Tory, the Mayor of the fourth largest city in North America (thank you for that fun fact, Mr. Mayor!), wrote a letter to the fucking chairman of CBS Sports about a poll his website published and literally—literally—wrote "We're not the slightest bit offended." I dunno, man, there are a lot of words in that letter. Seems like you're kind of offended. For instance "Especially since basketball was actually invented by a Canadian." Not to mention: "You're Welcome!"

This could have been a fun little thing to endear yourself to the people you represent by re-trolling the trolls at CBS, but you messed up, Mr. Mayor. You flew too close to the sun—do you guys get the sun up there?—and you did a stupid thing that people will not be happy about. You guaranteed not just a win over LeBron James and the Cavaliers, but you went full nutso and guaranteed a win over the winner of the Warriors-Thunder series too. Now CBS has to send a camera crew to Oakland when the Warriors win it all again, and another one up north, where they will definitely make sure everyone knows about the nonexistent parade is taking place in Toronto.