Some Dummy Got Charged with a Crime for Trying to Revive 'FHRITP'

There's nothing like being fashionably late to a party to really make a splash. Here we were, thinking the the dumbest viral hoax of 2015 was dead and buried in the meme graveyard alongside the ice bucket challenge and #Kony2012, when a grown man in a pickup truck dipped into the classics and screamed "fuck her right in the pussy" at a female journalist in Newfoundland trying to film an interview.

Shockingly, the "comedy genius" of a man using a fake catchphrase from two years ago to commit drive-by sexual harassment was lost on the provincial police. In 2015, the FHRITP fracas cost a man his job at Ontario Hydro for six months. This time around, the perpetrator was burned on Twitter by the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary and now faces charges of causing a public disturbance.

This is actually a more clear-cut case than what happened in Ontario two years ago. There, Shawn Simoes was fired by his employer for expressing his extremely shitty opinions on camera, and it spawned a number of really tedious internet arguments about free speech and showcased how a lot of men are genuinely too clueless to understand the concept of harassment.

In this new case, the 27-year-old manchild (police have not released the man's name yet) was charged with committing a crime. Not because of what he specifically said, but because he was shouting obscenities in a public place and interrupting a human being doing their job. Despite what NL's finest internet comedians/misogynists would have you believe, this is not a feminist witchhunt to stamp out jokes so much as the routine prosecution of the world's most tedious crime.

But fair enough boys! You are comedy experts who don't understand the criminal code and seem genuinely incapable of thinking about women in the workplace as anything other than a punchline. So here is something perhaps you can appreciate: unsolicited advice from a man about jokes.

Screaming "fuck her right in the pussy" at a woman trying to film an interview is not funny. It was not funny when it was fresh in 2015 and it is not funny when its rotting carcass is pulled out from behind the radiator two years later. Taken on its own, the statement makes no sense and the YouTube video the line is referencing is a) obscure, b) fake, and c) old, which are like the three cardinal sins of publicly dropping a pop culture reference. You may as well be driving around shouting Freddy Got Fingered quotes at people.

I get that all the humour involved comes from the shock value of shouting sexual obscenities at a woman, because all joy for a young person in the 21st century is fleeting and fragile and humour is the one ray of light in our pathetic existences, but actually being funny is difficult and requires work and thought and a proper temperament and self-awareness above all and a lot of men possess none of these qualities so they reach for the lowest of all hanging fruit, but, like, come on. If you're digging through old memes to shout out of a moving vehicle at strangers in a sad gasp for self-validation, at least bring back "You're The Man Now Dog" or something.

Anyways, this would have been fresh insight two years ago but here we are again. See you all in 2022 when I have to write about some guy spraypainting "YOU VS THE GUY SHE TOLD YOU NOT TO WORRY ABOUT" on the windows of that Weightwatchers attached to the Greco pizzeria on Torbay Road.

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