Carnage is Down to DJ Your Bar Mitzvah

Photo by Razberry Photography

I walked into the green room at Terminal 5 and told DJ Carnage that I write for THUMP. "Hell yeah!" he said. "THUMP and VICE don't fuck with me, man. They fuck with everyone else, just not me." Not that it's really made a difference. Carnage's EDM ascension has been marked by huge singles like his remix of Hardwell's "Spaceman," and in the blink of an eye he's advanced from opening act to Webster Hall headliner. Tonight he sold out the 3,000 raver-capacity Terminal 5.

Before the show, though, the meme mastermind hangs backstage trying on Jordans, deciding if he should perform in a new pair of sneakers or pull a classic Kaskade move: "get to the club with shoes on, take the shoes off and put sandals on." The self-proclaimed head honcho of the Chipotle Gang decided to keep his shoes on after all, instead metaphorically stripping down to talk about why touring is a giant dick, what movies he watches to get girls, and what it was like DJing for Dr. Dre's son's sweet sixteen.

THUMP: Tell us a bit about your day-to-day schedule.
CARNAGE: My day-to-day schedule has been fucking hectic, dude. I've been traveling five-plus hours every day for the last fucking two weeks. Having to do a show every day fucking sucks big dick, dude. Elephant dick.

Should we be quoting you on that?
Yeah, quote whatever the fuck you want man. No, its not elephant dick—what's that whale with the very big bone dick? The blue whale? No, its the sperm whale. Its like a really big, his dick is like a bone, its crazy. It sucks big whale bone dick. [Note: The blue whale has the largest penis of any living animal -ed.]

What do you bring on the road with you?
Nothing really. Just friends, some vodka.

What's your favorite drink?
Grey Goose, Belvedere, Ciroc, Milca. It's a Spanish soda from Nicaragua.

What's your favorite sunglasses brand?
Retro Super Futures. They're Italian, really nice. I lose them all time, so I get a new pair all the time.

You're notorious for playing long sets and going past your curfew. Do you think you'll play a four-hour set in the near future?
I don't know. I think I almost did a four-hour set before in Vegas. No, I did like three-and-a-half or three-and-forty. I don't know if I could ever do four or five hours. It depends.

What's your favorite movie?
My favorite movie has to be Napoleon Dynamite. I know every word to it. Me and my friend Ryan know every word. We watch it back-to-back-to-back-to-back. When we invite girls to Ryan's basement, a way to get girls is to watch Napoleon Dynamite. We got the same Rex Kwon Do pants too.

Who's your favorite person to follow on Twitter?
Fuck, I don't know, there are a lot of people. I don't have a direct person that I follow. Who do I retweet a lot? Who's like really funny twitter? Oh yeah, the @DJCarnageLives parody account posts the most epic tweets about me.

Would you DJ a wedding?
Hell yeah, fuck yeah. I totally would. I'd do a Bar Mitzvah. I did a sweet sixteen not to long ago for Dr. Dre's son. Dr. Dre's son personally asked me to play at his sweet sixteen. It was really cool. I met Dr. Dre there too. It was at one of his mansions.

Who are still looking forward to meeting?
I haven't met Headhunterz. I've met everybody. Armin, I haven't really met him. I said "hi" to him, but I think he didn't know who I was.

Who do you want to collaborate with?
Armin. I want to collaborate with Soulja Boy really bad and Gucci, but Gucci's facing 10 to 20.

Where's your music heading?
I don't know where my music is heading—more international. I got a really big Spanish song coming up. I am actually going to Puerto Rico this week to finish it.

Do you dance?
No, my whole family does, but I don't.

What's your favorite Spanish food?
Queso frito, carne asada y maduros (Fried cheese, steak and plantains).