The VICE Interview: Maya Jama

Maya Jama is half-Swedish, half-Somali and 100 percent fully certified babe. She's also the Snapchat GOAT – "Steve" is the stuff of both dreams and nightmares – and, since leaving Bristol for London at 16, now presents the drive-time show on Rinse FM.

Despite being in Barclays when I called, the 22-year-old happily picked up for a chat.

VICE: Dogs or babies?
Maya Jama: Babies. I like dogs, but dogs are like having the responsibility of having a baby but, like, a half-hearted one. If you have a baby you have to look after it, whereas a dog's a choice –obviously you have to take care of it, too, but a baby is a human. Plus I like cats; I have two at my mum's house.

When do you dislike yourself the most?
After going out two nights in a row.

Would you rather change one day from your past or see one day from your future? One day from my future. I've watched too many time travel films, so I've learnt that when you go back and change one thing everything else changes. So I'd go into the future, because otherwise I could fuck something up and not have the same life I have now. Or, like, not have a leg or something.

What was your worst phase? Probably at like 14. I was just going mad and, like, sneaking out, acting like I was 18. I had a fake ID and everything. But I think it's good because I got it all out of my system then, and now I'm… medium.

What conspiracy theory do you believe?
I don't think I believe in any of them – I try not to get too involved. I watched something about the Illuminati and it freaked me out, so I never looked at it again.

What film or TV show makes you cry?
I cry at everything – I cried at Lilo & Stitch the other day. The bit where he goes into the forest and is like "family" and he hasn't got any, oh my god. Any time someone is heartbroken or sad, or if someone dies.

Where did you go on your first friends holiday and what did you do?
When I was 16 about 20 of us from Bristol went to Spain and had three apartments next to each other and just went out to these Irish bars and crusty clubs every night. It was great. It was probably one of my favourite holidays. Everyone else went to Magaluf and that, but we went to Spain. We thought we were really classy, but we ended up just doing the same shit they did.

How many drinks before you're falling over drunk?
A lot. I'm quite a good drinker, to be fair, because I've mastered it throughout the years. It depends on what I'm drinking and if I've eaten, before I get too proud of myself, but I'd say about eight doubles.

What would your specialist subject be on Mastermind?
TV. Is TV a subject? If not, I'm absolutely fucked.

Weeing in the shower – yes or no?
I'm not gonna lie, I've definitely done it a few times, but I try not to do it in my own shower. Mostly in hotel showers. My toilet in my house is too close to the shower to justify weeing in the shower – there's no reason.

Why did you break up with your first boyfriend?
Probably because I just didn't fancy them? We just got a bit bored of each other and didn't text back or whatever.

How long were you together?
Realistically, probably about three weeks. We were like 14 and I was a frigid nutcase.

In the past month what is the latest you've slept in?
I've got this annoying thing at the moment where I can't sleep past 8AM, even if I've gone to bed at like 7AM. I'll be up for an hour or two and then go back to bed, like have a series of naps rather than just one big lie-in. In the last month the latest I've stayed in bed is around 2PM.

What's the nicest thing you own?
I don't really own a lot of expensive stuff. I have maybe my one designer item. It's a really understated Gucci watch, which just looks like a gold bracelet, so it's like a secret gem. It's not flashy, so only I know.

If you were a wrestler what song would you come into the ring to?
Ludacris – "Move Bitch". Me and my brother learnt every lyric from that song on YouTube; we went on holiday and would alternate the lines and sing it at each other like dickheads.

Would you have sex with a robot?
Right now I'm in a relationship and can have sex without having to do it with a robot, so I'm going to say no, but who knows what the future holds.

Maybe if you have a really long dry spell.
Or if he goes on tour for like two months.

When in your life have you become truly overcome with fear?
When I thought someone was breaking in. I was literally so scared I couldn't even run or scream or anything. I thought we were getting robbed and I actually thought I was gonna die, but it turned out to be the police kicking down our door.

What would be your last meal?
A really good steak and chips with a salad.

Any sauce?
With a mushroom sauce.

Maya will be one of the presenters on ITV1 new show 'CannonBall' that airs later this year.

@niluthedamaja

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Craig Roberts

Chrissie Hynde

Dave Benson Phillips